


Blueberry tea and Lavender soap

by Yeeyeebee



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Non Binary Hange, Slow Dancing, Slow Romance, The Grumpy One is Soft For the Sunshine One, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, flower pressing and midlife crises, frienimes to lovers, hange and erwin are the support group you never knew you needed, the way to get to levi's heart? tea
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-19 00:28:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 21,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29617794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yeeyeebee/pseuds/Yeeyeebee
Summary: You are an upcoming portrait artist tasked to paint the famous survey corps captain, Levi Ackerman, as a celebration of his years of service. The only problem is that neither you or him knew that he was being painted.Months away from your safe home, you have no other choice but to accept your new life in the survey corps barracks
Relationships: Levi Ackerman & Reader, Levi Ackerman/Reader
Comments: 27
Kudos: 235





	1. Memories in Watercolour

If you had known any better, you would have turned down the job. By all means, it was an amazing experience; a chance to show off your skills, the skills you spent years perfecting and mastering but as you sat in the carriage, clutching at your suitcase that housed your painting tools, you suddenly felt out of your depth. The rhythmic sound of the horse’s hooves gave a steady beat for you to contemplate your life choices leading up to this point from the young age of you scribbling on random pieces of parchment paper to completing your first portrait in your early teens.

You sighed at the thought of proudly displaying that crudely done painting of your friend. It was rough, really rough. There was only the limited amount of colours that you had available, the colours were good but they weren’t the _right_ colours. Still, everyone has to start somewhere.

You shifted your weight in the cushion seat of the carriage and smiled unsurely at the two people sitting opposite you, commander Erwin Smith and captain Hange Zoe, both dressed in formal military attire. You thought, them being in the army would have made them cold and reserved but they had been nothing but friendly, which had drastically calmed your nerves and reservations about the job. 

Ever since the first letter from Erwin, it felt like you were in, no doubt, safe hands; he had even come to your house, personally, once you accepted the job. It had been a fast response, and to your surprise he and Hange stood, offering out his hand to help you into the carriage. Though nervous, you had gladly accepted and took your seat, sparing a glance at the horses that would be taking you along. 

The journey from your home was pleasant, small talk and gentle conversation filled the red cushioned carriage with Hange happily chatting away to no one and about nothing in particular. Occasionally, they mentioned something that seemed to be of importance, something about experimenting on titans and how they wanted to catch a subject to further their research. Smiling, you let them rant on and on. Single handedly, they made the journey pass so much faster than if you had been travelling on your own. Not only that but it distracted you from the growing nerves in the pit of your stomach. You immediately took a liking to Hange’s jolly, excitable way of looking at life. 

Erwin sat proudly next to them, nodding along to Hange’s rants as if he hadn't heard them a million times before. 

Other than encouraging their rambling to you, he was keen on observing out the small window, watching the houses pass by. The people, the markets, they clearly interested him.

“It's been awhile since I've been this far into wall Sina,” He turned to you, “Let alone Ehrmich. I would love to stay longer, it seems inviting.”

Your fingers tightened around your suitcase. Meeting his gaze you grinned, ready to gush about your home town, “Oh it really is! Everyone knows everyone. The businesses really love visitors a lot.”

Erwin nodded, turning to look out of the window again, “Will you miss it?”

You cocked your head to the side and furrowed your brows, “Will I… miss it?” 

Erwin replied without hesitation, his voice as steady as ever, “You’ll be away for a few months, won’t you? Depending how long the painting takes.”

“Hm,” You hummed to yourself as you peered out the window as well, observing the people in the busy streets selling food and merchandise, going about their days. You watched as they looked on as you passed them. Familiar wooden beamed houses passed in a blur. Much too did the faces of the people outside, “I guess I will. I can’t imagine I’ll be away for long in retrospect. I could potentially take the painting home- if you would allow that Commander Erwin?”

He looked at you from the corner of his eyes and made no response, “Hange, tell them to open the gate.” 

The carriage came to a steady slow as the towering red-brick gates came into view. The sheer scale of it had always brought you to your knees. Fear couldn't help but creep into your consciousness as Hange stepped outside. All you heard was muttering and then the heavy creaking of the cogs turning round and around, lifting up the heavy stone gate. Outside, a crowd gathered, chattering amongst themselves and all so suddenly, it began to feel very surreal. You, a woman with no dealings with the military before, where now sitting in the presence of some of the most powerful people inside, and probably outside, the walls. You couldn’t quite believe it. Hand picked out of the population of thousands, maybe millions, to paint the portrait of one of the most important people in survey corps history. Atleast, that's what the letters from Erwin said. 

There was a loud sound of the cogs locking into place. It was done. The gate was open and for the first time ever, you were leaving the comfortable safety that was Ehrmich. The safety that was your home. Your friends. Your family. You swallowed hard, the grip around your suitcase tightened as you held it tighter to your chest. There it was again, the prevalent feeling of anxiety at the pit of your stomach. It was like the normal butterflies that where there had turned against each other, violently, and were now hell bent on making your life, and the rest of the journey, a misery. 

Hange clambered back into the carriage as it’s wheels started to slowly turn again, the horses whinnying as they clambered back onto their long journey. You felt a gentle hand squeeze your knee. Looking up to see Hange peering through their glasses at you, giving you an awkward but supportive smile. You gave a tight lipped smile back the nervousness making it too much to speak. 

It wasn’t that you were scared of the job. It wasn’t that at all. Nor was it being around new people, you coped perfectly fine with that, in fact you loved meeting new people. It was that you were scared of leaving all you knew behind. Going out into territory you never knew. Seeing things you would never wish upon any human _ever._ You were keenly aware of the titans, _who wasn’t?_ Keenly aware of the danger. The threat. The death. That was the main reason you didn’t want to take the job. It was cowardly, you knew that but you couldn’t bear to see one of those _monsters_ with your own eyes. Now, as the carriage rolled out into the dusk soaked fields, you sunk further into your seat, pressing your body into the plush backing as much as possible as one sort of hope of feeling safe. Out here, you were exposed; looking and Hange and Erwin they certainly didn’t seem to be wearing the necessary gear to protect you from the titans.

“Dear,” Hange began, their tone steady, smooth and the most calm you’ve seen them on the trip so far, “Look outside. There’s no need to worry, we’re being flanked by some of our scouts.”

You leant forward, blinking with wide eyes.

“Don’t believe me? Look outside.”

Erwin grinned at you as he moved back, giving you space to properly observe outside. And there, scattered around on horses under the warm yellow and pink glow of the setting sun were indeed scouts, sporting that infamous green cape. The flashes of the wings of freedom as the wind blew the fabric around gave you a swelling warm in your chest that momentarily calmed the anxiety. You felt safe. Protected. 

They rode in the green fields, perfectly insync with the speed of the carriage. One passed close to the carriage giving enough time for them to wave, a simple salute before moving back into formation. A wide smile spread across your face, and suddenly you felt like a child again watching the survey corps arriving from their missions outside the walls, the excitement and adventure filled your head as you took a comfortable seat again. 

“Am I really that important?” You mumbled, “To need an escort?”

Erwin leant back and crossed his arms, “You have a very important job.”

You couldn’t help but feel some heat creep across your face. It wasn’t often you got complimented as often as this and was even less of an occurrence that you got treated like a very important person, “Thank you Commander.”

Hange rested their head in their hands and grinned. They seemed to be inspecting your face, “You have nice eyes.”

There was that blush again,“Thank-” 

Hange cut your sentence short, a menacing grin spreading across their face, “So… What do you do for fun?”

“Paint,” You answered.

“You can’t say painting.”

"Why not?”

“It's your job. What _else_ do you like to do?”

You held your hand up to your mouth, brushing the smooth upside of your nails along your top lip as you thought, “Flower pressing. I prefer the creatives in life. Cooking, baking and I guess flower pressing goes hand in hand with cooking. Sometimes I make my own tea infusions. I would have gone into archery but painting does not bring me the right amount of money to keep that hobby,” You trailed off, thinking. It was true that there really wasn’t money in art, unless you made a name for yourself, which was proving more difficult that you excepted.

Hange’s grin only widened, “what was that last one?”

You cocked your head to the side, “Archery?”

They waved their hands in the air in front of themselves, “No, no, no, no. The one _before_ that.”

“I… I make my own tea infusions?” You spoke slowly, a bit, if not utterly confused.

Hange giddily laughed and grabbed onto Erwin’s Arm, “You hear that Erwin? Her and her model are bound to get along!”

You narrowed your eyes, “My model? I thought I was painting you Commander Erwin?”

He heartily laughed, “What ever gave you that impression?”

You stuttered, utterly dumbfounded by the turn of the events. It seemed that you have taken the job with little to no knowledge of what you were actually doing. For all you could know you might be painting one of the Commander’s horses. And that’s the one thing you can’t do- horses. 

“The letters... All the letters. You contacted me saying its a very important portrait of the survey corps division and I could only assume it was you-”

“My dearest,” Hange giggled, “Why would Erwin speak in the third-person in his letters?”

“Military formalities?”

Erwin chuckled, “I must apologise for not explaining beforehand. See, this painting is a surprise and I tried to keep the subject of said painting anonymous so that, not that I didn’t trust you,” He assured, “So that word wouldn’t spread and ruin the surprise.”

You nodded, slowly.

“So who am I painting, then?”

“Levi Ackerman,” Hange grinned even more, if that was even possible.

_Humanity's strongest soldier._

It was an honour. 

“Talking about Levi,” Hange continued, “You should see him pretty soon.”

Once again, the carriage came to a slow. The dusk had settled to a deep purple, the stars barely glinting through the grey clouds that had settled overhead. 

The survey corps barracks, a large castle like structure that towered over the pine trees that filled the surrounding area. You gripped the handle of your suitcase and stepped out the carriage unsteadily, your legs getting used to the sudden movement after being in one position for too long. You gasped and steadied yourself against the wall before quickly recovering. Looking around, the tall trees cast heavy shadows on the field flowers and tall grass.

 _They would be amazing to press,_ you thought to yourself.

It was certainly a cold night, so as you, Hange and Erwin walked towards the looming barracks, you wrapped your cardigan tighter around you. Dim torches lit the way, yet Erwin led the small group. 

He was the one to open the heavy door. You were immediately flooded with warmth from the fires inside.

“Thank you ever so much,” You clasped Erwin’s hands in yours and smiled gratefully.

“It was no trouble at all. Now before I show you to your housing for the coming months, I think it's only fair for you to meet your subject. Hange go see if you can find him.”

Hange had already separated from the group. They must have been thinking ahead of Erwin because as you turned around to the opening door, expecting to see Hange you instead saw a short man with tousled black hair and a grim look on his face as he worked at the leather straps tied around his thighs, leaning against the door frame. 

“You called?” He said not looking up intently unbuckling his gear. 

“Ah yes,” Erwin stood between the two of you, “Levi, this is your portrait artist. She will be painting your-”

“Erwin I know what a portrait artist is,” He finally looked up at you with his heavy, cool grey eyes, “And when did I agree to this?”

“You didn’t!” Hange came up behind Levi and gripped onto his shoulder trying to close the distance between you and him. Levi didn’t budge, he just turned back to working at his straps.

“It was a surprise.”

Finally the straps came loose and fell to the floor. He slung them over this shoulder and approached you with an outstretched hand, “I was not aware of this but I’m glad to make your acquaintance.” From his tone, you could tell he was forcing himself to be friendly. He looked at your hand, then back at you, then back at your hand. He put his away, “You have paint on you.”

Levi frowned as he walked passed you, leaving you there with your paint riddled hand outstretched. Whatever mix of excitement and anxiety you had swirling around your body was quickly replaced with bubbling anger.

Levi Ackerman- This was certainly going to be a challenge.


	2. No surprises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Due to largely unsuccessful first meeting with Levi, you are determined to put your harsh feelings towards him behind you. After all, you came to the barracks for a job. Not to bicker with the Captain of the Survey corps.

The next morning, the sun shone brightly through the window, rudely awakening your sleep. You groaned, realising that you did indeed have to face not only the upcoming day but Levi Ackerman as well. Clearly, the first impressions had not gone to plan as he brushed you off over some paint on your hand. _You’re an artist, what did he expect?_ You groaned to yourself as you swung your legs over the bed.

After Erwin had shown you to your room, he had promised that someone would guide you to the room that you were to start the long and arduous task that would be capturing Levi’s constant look of displeasure on his face. That night you did not once see him smile. Not at all. Not even a small smirk. Nothing.

Sighing at the thought of having to be stuck in a small room for hours on end with that man, you rubbed your hands across your face, trying your best to wake yourself up and at the very least , mentally prepare yourself. Certainly, you weren’t a morning person and if it was up to you, you would have woken up no later than noon but considering that at some point in the morning you were to be taken to a set place at a set time and that you were hired for a specific, you weren’t allowed follow through on your plans to sleep till noon. Maybe on the weekends, you promised yourself.

You threw on a simple dress, something comfortable and something that you wouldn’t mind getting splotches of paint all over. To be fair, which of your clothes _didn’t_ have paint on them? If you were to open your wardrobe, to the unsuspecting eye, it would probably look like a delusional artist’s canvas. You slipped on some shoes and patiently waited for your guide.

Some time later, there was a keen knock at your door. You called for them to come in and timidly, the door to your small room creaked open. There stood a girl with short auburn hair and shining hazel eyes that reflected the warm sun. And there with an even warmer and welcoming smile, she introduced herself to you with her fist over her chest, “I’m Petra Ral.”

“Pleasure to meet you,” You took the stationary-filled suitcase in your hand; with the other you pocketed a small wooden box and stood up, “You must be the one showing me around.”

She nodded. Tilting her head to the side, Petra turned on her feet ever so gracefully and signalled for you to follow her. Immediately, you got up from your seat, chasing after her quick pace. She led you down the stone hallways of the barracks, the wooden soles of your shoes creating a satisfying click with each step against the cold floor. 

“Where exactly am I going to be working?” You asked, slightly out of breath from trying to match her speed. 

Petra caught onto your struggling and slowed, “Captain Erwin was sure to put you in the room that catches the most sun of the day. Is that okay?”

You adjusted the weight of the suitcase in your palm and smiled gratefully, “Yes, that’s perfect.” Petra turned the corner and led you up some stairs, further up and into the barracks. The staircase was barren and twisting. Not a single speck of dust and freezing cold compared to the rest of the building. 

You shivered. 

It seemed to keep going, up and up and up. New stairs constantly appear every time you turned around that centre pillar. You were thinking about the logistics or carrying the heavy suitcase up these stairs everyday. It would certainly give you a work out but being tired isn’t pleasant whilst doing such a repetitive task like art. So caught up in your thoughts, you didn’t realise that Petra had come to a stop in front of you; you walked straight into her. She gasped and clutched at your wrist, stopping you from losing your balance. 

“Thank you, I’m so sorry,” You repeated apologetically. 

Instead of letting go of you, she proceeded to lead you up into the corridor that was at the top of the grey stairs. With her spare hand, she wrapped on the wooden door, situated at the far end of the hallway, with her knuckles, “Captain? We’re here.” 

Levi called back dully. Petra pushed the door open. 

Levi stood with his back to the two of you, looking out the wide window, observing the view outside.

“Would you like me to stay Captain?”

“I’ll be fine Petra, I’m sure she won’t bite my head off.”

 _I won’t be so sure of that Captain,_ you muttered under your breath.

Petra took her leave and left you and Levi in the room. Your gaze travelled around. Apart from the large window letting in the majority of the light, there wasn’t much else in there. Simply decorated, if you could call a single chair and a small table in the centre of the room decoration. Levi and you both stood in silence, having not yet made direct eye contact. From what you could tell, there was no way that Levi would be the one to speak first.

You cleared your throat. Catching his attention, he turned around, looked you up and down once again and made no approach to move closer towards you. Twice you have met him and both times he has given you the cold shoulder. You swallowed the need to snap at him as you knew, with a person like Levi, aggression was no way to get his attention. 

“Captain,” You began, “It’s a pleasure to be working with you.”

He nodded and made his way towards you, “Likewise.”

_Do I have to carry this conversation? He’s so blunt._

You placed your suitcase by your feet and held out your hand, “Don’t worry, I’ve washed them,” You showed them off, twisting them in front of your face. With a hint of sarcasm, you said, “Look, no paint.” 

“Perfect,” He stood up and, finally, shook your hand. His grip was strong but, oh, his hands were soft. There was no subtle way at you marvelling at his surprisingly well manicured fingers. For a soldier he certainly seemed to take care of himself. You respected that.

Holding his hand for that bit too long, he curled his lip and as politely as he could, pulled his hand away from you. 

To distract from that, you began to unpack your suitcase. Firstly extending and placing the easel, then laying out the paints, brushes and pencils. Levi keenly observed while you chatted away, “So, I’ll start whenever you’re ready. Get yourself into a position you’ll be comfortable with sitting in for a long time. See, I normally suggest the hands over the knees, head tilt. It shows off the right features whilst being comfortable. Easy for me to sketch out, easy for me to deal with. Benefits both of us really.” 

You rambled on whilst Levi glared at you with wide eyes, trying to keep up with your instructions.

“And I thought Hange was bad,” You heard him mumble. You smiled at that.

“Captain,” He looked up at you from his seat, “I brought this for you- Take this as a thank you, for the job.”

“I wasn’t the one who hired you,” He said whilst smoothing out the creases in his heavy green jacket, “Give it to Erwin, I’m sure he would appreciate it more.”

You weren’t going to tell him that it was actually intended for Erwin as you were under the impression, until the day before, that he was to be your subject. That secret can stay safe with you. Bringing out the box from your pocket, you held it out to him expectantly. Over and over in your head you growled, I _swear if he doesn't take it…_ He looked at it then looked back at you, taking it unsurely from your hand.

“What is it?”

“Open it,” you smirked.

He frowned and took the small box onto his lap, unhooked the small gold latch and peered into it, “Is this tea?”

He lifted it up to his face and smelt it, his head lulling back ever so slightly, “This smells really good. I’ve never seen it before.”

“You shouldn’t have,” You grinned, “It’s homemade. Dried blueberries, a pinch of ginger and nutmeg and if you’re really feeling it, honey goes well with it too. Of course the blueberries are the main focus, I made sure not to overpower the other spices. It can really make or break a good tea I find. I prefer the subtler flavours” 

“Me too,” Levi hummed as he closed the latch and placed it to his side.

_At least there was one thing you mutually agreed on._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe that I'm writing a story about art when I'm already busy with my own course work-  
> But it seems that you've accidently found a common interest between you and Levi


	3. It's up to you and it's up to me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, adults are harder to work with then you think. Especially when that adult is in a mood most of the time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit sorter but uh oh we get to see the first signs of tension between you and Levi...

It was strange really, the concept of having to stare at someone till their features were replicated perfectly onto a blank sheet or canvas.

And it was a concept you hadn’t really gotten used to.

When you look at a person for too long, you begin to notice things that you don’t believe they would even notice themselves. Features and quirks that could only be noticed by another eye, an eye that wasn’t searching for something it was acquaintance to. A stranger’s eyes could notice things you could never dream of and through your job, you began to find it quite charming. 

A client could sit in front of you for days on end and each day you would find something new about them. Something they may have not even have known themselves; a stray freckle, an oldy pigmented iris, a wrinkle they hadn’t noticed yet.

You can’t remember the last time you painted your own features and as someone who spends their life looking at other’s imperfections, you couldn’t stand to pin-point yours. In fear of that if you did, it would have become all you could think about. Obsessive. Unescapable. 

Yet focusing on others gave you a talent. By observing you got to notice their best angles; how certain lighting made their eyes glow a bit more. You began to notice beauty where they could not and you used that to capture that beauty in paint, to be seen at their best for as long as it was displayed.

It was strange though, seeing things and utilizing features in the way that the person wouldn’t be able to replicate just as well as you could. It was like a secret. A secret talent that you only possessed. 

  
  


You balanced your charcoal pencil between your fingers, bouncing it as you thought. You looked between your sketch and your cold-featured reference, Levi Ackerman. He sat there, stoney-faced as ever. _It must be easy to hold that expression as it seems to be the only one he has,_ you grinned as you sharpened lines.

You stood back to examine your work, crossing your arms as you eyed it up.

_Something didn’t seem right._

Frowning you went from looking between Levi and the sketch repeatedly. Was it the mouth? No. Were the eyes the right shape? Yes you made sure they were. Nose? Nope, that was fine as well. But the longer you looked at the dark scribbles on the canvas, it only looked worse and worse. It wasn’t a singular feature that was making it bad, it was the whole piece. 

You groaned and threw the canvas onto the floor, bringing the other by your feet onto the easel and securing it. Levi startled and you were pretty sure he rolled his eyes.

A blank start was always daunting.

“What are you doing now? Really playing into that troubled artist narrative, aren’t you?” Levi said bluntly, not a hint of humour or sarcasm in his voice.

“It was wrong,” You huffed as you began to lay down the first wash of subtle yellow paint, this would be a base to make the future layering easier, “It didn’t look… right… Not at all.”

“Thanks,” Levi rolled his eyes.

“No, no, it's not you,” You waved your hands defensively, the wet paint brush still between your fingers, splattering slight spots of paint on your dress, “Well, actually… I think it might be.”

“I know I’m not attractive brat, but I’m sure my face isn’t that horrendous.”

“I wasn’t saying that,” You sighed, struggling to come up with words that wouldn't dig you further into a hole you wouldn’t be able to get out of, “I mean, you’re a decent looking guy but you're not giving me much to work with.”

Levi raised his eyebrows and stared at you from his comfortable seat.

“Oh for heaven’s sake Levi! Don’t look at me like that! I’m saying that you’re not making this easy for me. I shouldn’t have let you pick your own pose.”

The corner of his mouth turned down, giving you a judgemental and displeased glare, “So you’re saying I’m not… responsible enough?”

That familiar rage was bubbling inside your chest again. And it was threatening to spill out in pure anger if Levi didn’t stop pressing all the _wrong_ buttons.

“No, Levi, you are clearly responsible enough,” You hissed, “As I said, you’re just not making this easy for me.”

Levi rolled his eyes.

“That’s it,” You stormed out from behind the easel and stood in front of him. He looked up at you from his lounging position on his chair. You gripped onto his shoulders and twisted him to sit straight up. He verbally protested but you weren’t interested in the names he called you, “Do i have to act like I’m your mother?”

He shut up quickly.

“Thank you. Now if you would just let me-” Your hand hovered over his jaw. He nodded, clearly understanding your intentions. 

Ever so carefully, you held his chin with your thumb and forefinger, easily angling his face in different positions to see which would work best. You leant in front of him, indirectly staring into his grey eyes, more concerned about what his side profile looked like than the very obvious blush creeping over his once pale cheeks. You tutted.

You found the positions, finally. Turning his head just far enough to show off his jawline and the curve of his nose. You hummed, satisfied.

“See that was all,” you assured him, “Just be a lot more cooperative next time _captain._ ”

You grinned at his slow nodding. Eventually he regained his little lost composure.

“You ready now? All comfortable?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

“That’s what I like to hear.”


	4. I guess I'll never learn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You think that not being in eye-sight of you would keep you out of trouble, but no, apparently not, much to Levi's displeasure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is from Levi's point of view so I could make his feelings towards you a bit clearer.

It's been a week. A week of unbearable moping and boredom.

Levi couldn’t complain, he didn’t mind having a day or two off of the field. It gave him a well needed break from the new cadets, but it was at the point now that he felt uncomfortable with how relaxed he was. Levi was itching to get back into action. Even if it's just once. He would even settle for a trip out on his horse with his squad, a short mission with Petra by his side keeping everyone in check for him. She gave him enough of a break as it was. 

It was the third day of sitting in that room with her painting him, wishing that Erwin could just burst through the door with a surprise mission. Or Hange excitedly dragging him away to go capture some titans for research, but no. They had been quiet all week. Absolutely nothing from them. Levi couldn’t bear another moment of staring at her, working away at that canvas. Then, it came almost as a miracle, she set down her brush and said:

“I’m tired. Go have a break, my precious model,” she said with her voice soaked in sarcasm.

Levi had scowled at her before storming out of that room, making it keenly aware that he was most displeased with her. Walking out that room faster than he had ever done before, he made his way to Erwin’s office. There was no need to knock on his door, Erwin was well accustomed to him barging in. Levi threw open the door.

Hange sat on Erwin’s desk while Moblit leaned over them, observing a hand-written notebook spread out in front of both of them. Erwin himself sat in his chair, the sun shining in from outside, warming his back. Levi knew that was one of Erwin’s favourite things during the summer, in fact, Levi had joked about him being cold blooded as days like this, Erwin would only move from his desk in situations he deemed necessary. 

Hange looked up and threw their hands in the air at his arrival only to be met by the glum look on Levi’s face.

“Moblit, pour me a whisky, I know you have some on you,” Levi slumped down on the chair in front of them all. They observed him like a wild animal, in fear that if they do one thing wrong they would all be dead in an instant.

“It’s not even two in the afternoon.”

“I don’t care Erwin,” Levi rubbed his hand across his face, “That artist you hired is driving me up the walls.”

“Ah poor y/n. She must not be having a good time either,” Hange mocked.

“Y/n?”

“Levi, that’s her name,” Erwin sighed, “There was me thinking you two would be a good match and you haven’t even introduced yourself to each other properly.”

“What” Levi stared, not quite sure if he’d heard Erwin correctly, “Moblit. Whiskey. 

Moblit begrudgingly brought a small glass of whiskey to Levi’s side. Erwin delicately raised his hand barely off the desk. Moblit stopped. 

“I said, I thought you two would be a good match,” Erwin hummed. 

Levi groaned, “A good match? Please don’t tell me you’re trying to be some _divine_ matchmaker. I’ve already told you, I couldn’t be less interested.”

“Of course not,” Erwin assured, taking Levi’s whiskey and placing it on his desk, “I know your boundaries. But, Levi, I didn’t mean it like that. I thought you two would work well as a pair.”

“What work could we possibly do as a pair?” Levi grumbled, “What she paints titans while I take them down,” Levi stood up and began to do a very bad, very comical, impression of y/n, “Oh look at me big scary titans! Oh no! Don’t eat my family! Look I made a _pretty picture for you._ Look titans! Art! _”_

Levi’s scowl was deadly. He leant back onto the book covered shelves pinching the bridge of his nose.

Hange smirked, a thought popping into their head, “If we’re talking about being a good match with someone…”

“Hange no-” Moblit shushed somehow already seeing through what they were going to say. Levi felt the dred rising in his chest.

“When was the last time you were romantically involved, let alone interested, in someone?” Hange questioned. Moblit tried to stop them again but Levi knew in these situations, it was best to just answer the question.

“Not since I was young, Hange,” Levi sighed heavily, that familiar tightness closing over his chest. It always came suddenly, that feeling. It always immediately put a downer on his mood.

He never had the time to form a relationship like that with anyone, _ever._ Levi was always fighting for his own life, or other’s in that case. Yes, he had his friends like Hange and Erwin that he cared deeply for. Even his squad, they were all very dear to him. Given the chance, he would do almost anything for them, but that was the one thing he felt like he was missing. A _relationship._ Not a companion, not a friend, a lover. Someone to come back to after a tough job just to hold. Levi laughed to himself that there was probably someone, somewhere that had something against him, stopping him from having that opportunity with anyone. Maybe life just had something against him. Maybe he was just unlucky.

He would be lying if he said he wouldn’t want someone to _love_ him, but life -and death- always got in the way of any chances of that. He truly feared that he had no chance to find a love like that, that it would always be snatched viscously away from him. So the easiest thing for Levi to do was to not search for anything like that. What you don’t have, you can never lose.

And for some reason, Levi found comfort in that. It often kept that tight feeling in his chest at bay.

“Levi?” Erwin’s soft voice called, snapping him out of his thoughts. 

Levi shook his head with a smirk on his face, “I’m telling you I’m not working with her. She’s impossible. You cannot read that woman for the life of you.”

Hange hummed, “I thought she was very upfront. I think you’re just intimidated by her. She isn’t easily swayed. Y’know confident in her beliefs.”

“Intimidated by her? Say that again four-eyes, I _dare_ you.” 

“You’re i-n-t-i-m-i-d-a-t-e-d by her,” They said slowly, curling the letters on their tongue.

Levi rolled his eyes and shrugged his shoulder, pretending to brush it off. Though, now that Hange had planted that seed in his brain he struggled to not think about it. Levi diverted the attention with a question, “So, Erwin, when can I get back on the field?”

“Now if you want.”

“Now?” Hange and Levi said in unison.

“Yeah to start with you can go get your sworn enemy from the grounds,” Erwin smirked, turning around in his chair to look out the window. He beckoned Levi with the curl of his fingers.

“Why would I need to get her? As long as she remains in the courtyard- oh,” Levi stood by Erwin’s side, glaring out into the grounds of the castle and there, not in the safety of the courtyard was y/n, out in amongst the trees, right in broad daylight. 

“Oh for fucks sake.”

“Your gear is in your room,” Erwin called as Levi dashed out the office to hurriedly put his gear on.

Though he was well experienced with it, there was no chance he would be able to buckle up the straps in less than ten minutes, let alone quick enough to stop from getting her harmed. As he rushed through the hallways, out the large wooden doors that lead into the courtyard he shouted instructions to a very bewildered Petra who watched as he ran from one side of the walled square to the other. Immediately, she went into action, taking what she could from the message, “Brat outside, Completely unarmed. Get her before she gets eaten!”

Though he hated to admit it, that brat was giving him one hell of an adrenaline rush.


	5. You're not fooling us all

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Going out to explore the near-by woods shouldn't have a problem, should it?

With the sun high in the sky and the weather pleasant, you decided to make the most of the afternoon collecting those flowers you saw on your way into the barracks.

After you dismissed Levi and watched him storm off in a huff, you went to your small room to get changed into something more practical to foraging, out in nature and mud. You slipped off your paint ridden dress and pulled on some brown, high-waisted trousers and a loose, long-sleeved blouse. Around your waist, you tied a belt with sheers, scissors and a little trowel, just in case you found something more interesting out there. 

With a basket in one hand and your field guide book in the other, you set off out of the barracks containments. Immediately, you were hit with the radiant sun shining onto your balmy cheeks. The forest was thin and you could see you into the fresh rolling fields below. It was truly peaceful with the birds chirping and the gentle wind blowing through the tree’s branches. It had been such a long time since you had been surrounded by beautiful scenes of nature, after all you had been in that city for the majority of your life, constantly surrounded by tall stone buildings. 

The short grass curved round your boots as you stepped ever so carefully as you could around the roots of the trees, trying your best not to disrupt some of the younger saplings and shoots growing through the ground. Clearly, not many people ventured into the woods outside the barracks. _Why would they?_ You thought to yourself, _The road cuts straight through the woods._

You came to that patch that you saw earlier. After you looked closer you realised that the daisy looking flowers were in fact the chamomile flowers. You never realised they grew this far out. It was a pleasant surprise. If you harvested them correctly and dried them out, you could make tea out of them. 

Clambering down to sit on the back of your legs, you took the small pair of scissors out of your belt and began to collect them, making sure to leave enough to grow back just as well as before. One by one, you inspected them, turning them around looking for damage or insects that happened to be living on them. The ones that seemed perfectly fine, you placed into your basket and the ones with damage, maybe a lost petal or a bite out of the leaves, were placed into your field guide book with the intent to be pressed. 

You listened. Listened to the animals, to the wind. The metal clanking from in front of you. _Metal?_

You turned your head to see Petra running at you, fully equipped with her odm gear. The heavy metal boxes that held her blades clashed against her, yet it didn’t catch her off guard or even knocking her off balance. Sensing something was wrong, you sprung to your feet, brandishing those small and puny scissors like a weapon. 

It was the first time you’ve seen Petra without her lively smile, instead it was replaced with her mouth closed in a straight line, her eyebrows furrowed. It was a look of concentration- anticipation. 

She was mere feet away from you when the hooks of the gear deployed, burrowing deep into a tree behind you. She zipped forward, being thrusted high up into the branches. You turned to watch Petra scour the land, that same blank expression on her face. She took the empty triggers and slotted them into the blades and with a swiping motion, she unsheathed both of them. Petra lowered her head focusing on a point that you were unable to see. Slowly, you walked back till you leant against the tree, you held your scissors with both hands at arm-lengths. You didn’t realise it but you were shaking.

There was another whoosh of air beside you accompanied by a familiar metal clang as another hook dug into the trunk of a nearby tree, “Petra update,” a familiar, steady voice called from atop another tree.

“Captain, four meter approaching by the west, maybe a hundred feet away. Hasn’t yet noticed us,” Petra responded.

“Go back to the barracks, I’ll sort this out. No need to tell the others, I believe Erwin is aware of this already,” Levi ordered. You heard Petra leave, gliding gracefully through the trees. Levi traversed down to the woodland floor and gave you a deadly glare, “I’ll deal with you later.”

The reality of the situation began to sink in as you watched Levi move further into the forest, the sound of his odm gear disappearing with him. You fell to your knees, your scissors dropping from your hands. You couldn’t move. Fear spread through your body as you slowly came to terms with the danger. A titan so close to you. Every possibility ran through your head as you sat shaking on the floor. If you had walked any longer, you would have seen it. You would have been defenceless. Nothing to protect you, you would have been titan food, no doubt about it. Your head tilted back, exposing your neck as you leant your head against the tree. Shaky breaths escaped your throat. _You could have died._

“Y/n behind you!” 

Your attention snapped back. You turned quickly to see the grotesque, bug eyed creature peeking around the tree. Its wide eyes paired with its wide, hungry mouth peered at you with animalistic desire for hunting. It wanted you. You were the creature's prey. 

Without thinking you grabbed the sheers from your belt and drove it between the titan’s eyes, red steaming blood spraying out onto your clothes. You panted heavily, trying to crawl away. It was angry now, more angry than before. It came for you, its long mottled arms outstretched. 

Its fingers inches away from you, threatening to drag you into its fowl mouth, when suddenly it stopped. It collapsed, falling onto the floor, face first. It’s large, heavy body brought up dirt, derooting the plants around it. A large gash covered where the nape of it’s neck should have been. 

Levi appeared from behind it’s bulbous head with a soul shaking sneer spread across his face, “You. Get back in the barracks now. Clean yourself up and we’ll talk later. You look awful,” He said without a trace of sympathy in his voice.

You watched him walk away from the steaming corpse. With one foot on the decaying titan’s head and the other firmly placed on the ground, you pulled the sheers from it’s head. Hurriedly, you collected your things and ran back to the barracks, adrenaline still filling your veins.

  
  
  


Once you took a cold shower to calm your nerves, you made your way to Levi’s office. So far, this has been the only time you’ve feared for your life in another person’s hands. Judging from Levi’s tone in the forest, you weren’t sure you were going to make it out this meeting alive.

You took a deep breath and knocked at the door. You had a feeling you were about to have two near death experiences in the space of an hour. Hange opened the door, their bubbly personality was completely non-existent as they stood at the back of the office. It was like a different person. Levi stood in front of his spotless desk, arms crossed looking at you with a wholly unreadable expression. The door slammed shut making you jolt. It was like being told off at school again except your grades weren’t on the line, your life -probably- was. 

“What the _fuck_ was that performance then?”

“I’m sorry Levi-”

“In this room, right now, you call me Captain. If you want to be act like an inexperienced cadet, you will be treated like one. Do you understand y/n?”

“Yes captain,” You held your head high, remaining eye contact with Levi, determined not to break in his presence.

“Do you understand the seriousness of this situation y/n?” Levi hissed. You nodded. Levi tutted, “Do you understand? I want your verbal confirmation, this better not be falling on deaf ears.”

“Yes captain.”

“Go on then,” He taunted, his voice venomous and cold, like nothing you had ever heard from him before, “Explain it to me.”

You really thought, hard, trying to find the best way to phrase it without getting into more trouble. You groaned to yourself. You were an adult woman yet you were being treated like a child. Knowing _Captain Levi,_ it was all probably part of the plan. He wanted the answers however he wanted to get them. You swallowed hard, “I caused danger to myself and others.”

Levi pinched the bridge of his nose, “By the walls, Y/n, it’s not as simple as that,” You stared at him. He brought out a sheet of paper with his scrawling writing on it, “Clearly, you’re as clueless as I thought, so I’ll spell it out for you. Leaving without permission; leaving without an authorised supervisor, causing unnecessary endangerment to civilians and military personnel. Do you understand the seriousness?”

“Yes captain, but-” You caught your tongue before you could continue but from Levi’s raised eyebrow, he caught on.

“‘But’ what?”

“But I was never told that I would have to have a supervisor,” You smirked as you spoke, “And wasn’t the only civilian I was putting in danger, me? I mean by joining the military you are already putting yourself in danger?”

“Don’t get cocky with me _y/n.”_

“I am not a _child,_ Captain. I think I can protect myself when I’m in danger.”

“Clearly not. I saw you out there. You froze. Completely unaware of your surroundings. You couldn't even see that seven-meter behind you because you were too absorbed in your own little world. You wasted both mine and Petra’s time,” He belittled, “If you were a new scout we would have left you. You pick and choose your battles y/n, and battles with titans aren’t ones for you. Next time stay in the barracks.”

“So you expect me to stay in the barracks _indefinitely?_ I can’t do that Captain. You can’t expect me to stay cooped up in this-this _prison.”_

“Don’t be so dramatic-”

“No, Captain. You can’t expect me to stay here like this.”

“Don’t interrupt me,” He scoffed.

“How else am I meant to get my point across? I’m not staying within these rooms for the foreseeable future. I need to get out.”  
“And what do you want me to do about that?” You could tell there was no depth behind that question, he meant nothing and nor did he care about your answer, yet you continued.

“You said I needed a supervisor. You be it then,” You grinned smugly.

“No.”

“Fine, Hange?”

“I can’t, me and Moblit are busy at this moment in time,” they said, their tone flat and serious, “Levi, she’s actually coming up with a reasonable offer. She won’t be out often, will you?”

“Only if he’s well behaved,” You looked Levi up and down. His arms crossed tightly across his chest, his expression relatively blank, apart from the angry fire burning behind his eyes, “Only once a week. Saturdays.”

He looked between you and Hange and with a lot of deliberation in his head, he rolled his eyes, “Fine. _Only_ on Saturdays, Okay?”

“Thank you Captain.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So basically Levi is now, begrudgingly, your babysitter


	6. Everything you do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the less than welcome encounter with the titan, things haven't been the best between you and Levi. Even worse, you're stuck with him in a empty room for hours on end.

That Monday, Levi and you sat down to continue your work. 

You had to say that the portrait was coming along nicely. Levi’s features were slowly coming together, it was really the smaller details you were to focus on for the time being. However, what was not coming along nicely was your relationship between you and him. 

Ever since the incident with the titan, he had been particularly withdrawn. He wasn’t particularly chatty to begin with (You put that to either his introverted personality or that he just wasn’t one to hold conversations that he didn’t deem necessary to have) but he had barely spoken a word to you. Then when you did try to converse, he would give minimal answers; single words or a disgruntled noise. It irritated you to say the least. It was almost childish. You had made a mistake and he needed to realise that it was in the past, he needed to move on and forgive you. Yes, in that moment in the office you were acting out of line but it needed to be said, otherwise, who would’ve known what would’ve happened. 

You worked at the portrait with a fine brush, adding texture to his pale skin and thinking. Thinking about Levi. Practically everyone inside the walls knew who he was. He was a hero, whether he liked it or not. Everyone around him regarded him with the utmost respect. Everyone around you was infatuated with him, well almost everyone. Of course you got people who simply brushed off the work of the scout regiment as useless and a waste of tax money. But you wondered, between the hero-worship and deep rooted hatred, what was _he_ like. He was just another human being after all. What was he scared of? What were his ambitions, his needs? What were the things he did when no one was looking? You could easily get lost fantasizing about Levi, the real Levi. Not the one that he put on display for others. The one that only occasionally broke through his stoic façade.

“You were quick to react,” Levi broke the silence in a hushed tone.

You carried on working, dipping the fine hair of the brush into the paint by your side and gently swiping it along the canvas, “Pardon?”

“Don’t make me repeat myself,” He adjusted his heavy green coat. He lowered his tone again, “It was a valiant effort. Completely stupid taking on that shit with gardening utensils but at least you would’ve gone down with a fight.”

“Thank you Levi,” You smiled, covered by the easel.

“Don’t take that as a complement. You were reckless and put your own life at risk,” You could hear Levi sigh, “I’m telling you it's not fun removing human remains of grass, much easier on cobble.” 

You laughed only to realise Levi wasn’t, he was deadly serious. You swallowed hard, the room descending into silence again, “You said that if I was a new scout you would have left me.”

“And?”

“Would you have really?” 

He stayed quiet for a couple of seconds, “Maybe.”

“What if I was a civilian?”

“Why are you asking me these questions-”

“Levi.”

He leant his head back, his hand covering his mouth. Levi was clearly frustrated yet he mustered the energy to answer you, “We’re not saving civilians, we’re killing titans. We save the civilians in the process. Our missions are to go and kill, not to save. That’s the garrison’s or the MP’s job, not ours. If you think about it from _your_ ‘glass half full’ perspective, by killing the titan, I _technically_ saved you. Is that a good enough answer for you?”

You nodded and carried on painting. Levi repositioned himself. Yet again, that awkward tension that had been between you had only strengthened. It felt unescapable at this point, that the rest of your working days with Levi would be spent darting your eyes from his, swallowing your words and biting your tongue. As if the only Levi you would ever get to know would be the one that you created in your head from the lack of conversation. 

At least, you got to study him closer than many other people would. Who else would be able to stare at Levi for an extended amount of time and not get threatened. Who else got to stare at the way his hair fell around his cheeks or how his eyes were not in fact grey, they were actually a very cold, icy, shade of blue.

“Levi. How long do you sleep?”

“That's none of your business.”

“Do you actually sleep?” You took a slightly thicker paint brush in your hand and dipped it in the small jar of murky paint-water, “I would like an answer considering that I’m the one about to be painting those dark circles around your eyes.”

He ran a finger under his eye, a slight look of concern spread across his face.

“Oh don’t make that face. I find it quite charming. Now, how long do you sleep? Five hours?”

He bared his teeth, thinking. Looked around the room and then held out his hands as if to count the hours on his fingers, “I’m not sure.”

“Okay we’re going to figure this out. Run me through your nightly routine,” You jokingly ordered as you continued painting.

“Why would I tell you-”

“Humour me, Levi.”

He tutted and begrudgingly, he began to explain, “I retire to my office about nine-ish, do any necessary paperwork and check my squad records. By then it's nearly twelve,” He cringed, “I pour myself tea and sit in my chair until one-ish then I eventually just… doze off. I wake up at five to prepare my squad, Gunther always comes by my office around that time.”

“So you’re working the majority of the day with the maximum of four hours of sleep?” You stared at him in astonishment.

“I think it might be less than that on average.”

“How? How on earth are you doing that? You’re working at your best ability _all day_ and get almost no sleep. How have you not collapsed?”

He shrugged.

“You are something else Levi.”

“Stop fussing over me and get back to work,” He smirked. 

  
  


Maybe, just maybe, you began to slowly break away at Levi’s façade. And maybe, you would eventually see _him._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I just wanted to say thank you ever so much for reading and supporting this! I really hope you are all having as much fun reading it as I am writing it. At this point in time, I have no idea about how long this is going to be, but I have it pre planned out already. I will try my best to update it weekly or every-other-day but it really depends on my schedule.  
> Thank you! <3
> 
> -also we might be getting to see the 104th next chapter ;)-


	7. We've got a lot to talk about

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Levi disappears without your knowledge, you're given free reign to explore more of the barracks.

Levi wasn’t there the next day.

And considering the last words you had said to him were, “If you die, I won’t be able to remember your face. I won’t be able to finish the painting,” Your heart had sunk. You should have realised that telling a veteran soldier to ‘not die’ was a mistake. You should’ve realised that the look on his face was clearly telling you that you shouldn’t have said that, even if you had meant no harm. 

Luckily to say that morning, you panicked. That was until you had got the rather delayed news that he had left to go on a mission with his squad. You had not been aware of this until there was a knock at the room where you were expecting Levi. Impatiently, you had flung the door open expecting to see Levi there and glaring at you with his callous eyes but instead, there was just another scout holding out a letter to you. It was from Erwin, explaining the situation. 

It had turned out that there had been more titans spotted and they, of course, needed to be sorted out. You doubted Levi even had time to tell you, it was probably a rush. Killing titans was clearly the priority. You couldn’t keep Levi here with you for a _painting._ Yet, there was a feeling budding in your chest. It was stupid of you to feel disappointed, so you shook it away. 

At the end of the letter, Erwin gave you the permission to wander a bit further-a-field from the barracks, specifically the scouts training grounds that were situated just outside the grounds. He said that if you took the letter with you, it would basically act as an all access pass, as it was diligently signed, _Commander E. Smith._

After you had waved off the scout that delivered the letter, you pocketed it, your leather bound sketch book and pencils; you made your way out the room when something caught your eye. That green coat that Levi wore was draped over the back of the chair. Of course he wouldn’t wear it for a mission like that as it was formal attire and then, with a sudden conviction of bravery, you picked it up and draped it over your shoulders. You didn’t take it off as you walked out the room. And you didn’t take it off as you made your way to training grounds. Nor did you take off when you asked for directions. Wearing his coat filled out with a strange amount of confidence. It was like a bit of him had rubbed off on you. You grinned.

  
  
  


Soon, the training grounds came into view. Large wooden cut outs of titans stood amongst various beams, sheds and tall pine trees. You could hear the excitable laughter and commanding shouts from scouts and captains alike. 

_How fun, I wish I could have my hand at the odm gear,_ you thought to yourself as you took a place underneath the shade of the tree, pulling out your sketchbook and flipping through the busy pages. 

Once again you began to think about Levi. You were becoming increasingly aware that it was hard to _not_ think about him. His face was already taking up a large part of your conscience considering that you had to look at him for the majority of the day but there was something, deep inside of you, that was trying to get your attention. Every time you ignored it, it would only come back stronger. Though, the only problem was that you weren’t quite sure what ‘it’ was just yet and you were pretty sure you didn’t want to know what ‘it’ was. 

You shook your head and carried on sketching whatever you saw around you but he kept weaving his way into your thoughts. Levi was a nuisance even when he wasn’t around. 

“You’re such a pain in the ass Levi. Can’t you just let me relax?”

You said out loud. You savoured the way his name sounded on your tongue. It was smooth, gentle; almost the complete opposite to him. You found yourself repeating his name over and over like a curse, “Levi, Levi, Levi.”

The wind blew strong and you wrapped his coat tighter around you. _His coat._ You shuddered as you felt that unwelcome feeling rise within you. 

“Is that Captain Hange?” You looked up to see a group of four teens looking at you. The girl, who had asked the question, with brown hair pulled up into a ponytail, grinned widely at you. What you could only assume were her friends, stood around her. One short boy with a closely shaved head, another boy with dark hair and a face mosaiced with freckles and another boy, around his age, with a mop of mousey brown hair on top of his head.

“It is!” You smiled. 

The girl sat down next to you, “That’s really good! I’m Sasha and this is Connie, Marco and Jean.”

“Very nice to meet you all, but shouldn’t you be training right now?”

“We were given a break,” Connie said, leaning his head atop of Sasha’s, “And we saw you over here and we were wondering who exactly you were.” 

“Yeah,” Sasha narrowed her eyes at you, “Marco spotted you and none of us recognised you.”

Marco pulled Jean down to sit next to him, “Not to be rude of course,” He rubbed his hand over the back of his neck nervously, “It’s just that we’ve never seen you before but you’re wearing the survey corps’ symbol. We thought you might have been a new Captain transferred or something.”

You laughed, “Oh no I’m nothing of the sorts.”

The teens sat around you, puzzled. They looked around each other trying to figure out who you were or where you came from. The deep look of thought spread across each of their face’s amused you. “How about we make it a game? You guess who I am and I'll… I’ll draw a picture of whatever you like.

Jean’s eyes lit up, “Anything?” You nodded, “We need to get Armin on this he’ll know what to do.”

“Ah, ah, ah,” You wagged your finger, “If you want the prize you’ll be the one to get the right answer, not this Armin boy.”

Jean groaned. Marco patted him on the shoulder supportively.

“Okay, okay,” Sasha began, waving her arms in the air, drawing all attention to her, “We need to think about this logically-”

“When have you thought about anything logically.”

“Be quiet Connie,” She gave him a hefty **_bonk_ **on his head with her fist. He whined whilst Sasha continued, “Right, if you’re wearing part of the survey corps’ attire but not the whole uniform that means you're not actually in the scouts.”

“Correct.”

“She might be related to someone- or married to someone,” Marco chirped in.

“But they just don’t let anyone’s spouses into the barracks,” Jean’s eyes lit up with an idea, “That means she must be married to someone high up, like a commander or a captain!”

You grinned as you sat in silence, watching them slowly work through it.

“Is it Commander Erwin, please tell me it is?” Sasha laughed. There was a clamour of disagreement between them all until she shushed them, “Shh… Sshh… All I’m saying is that she _looks_ like someone who would be Erwin’s type.” 

“No way!” Connie shook his head vigorously, “No, no, no if anything she would be Nile’s type!”

“Nile is already married, idiot,” Sasha groaned.

“And… He’s in the military police,” Marco frowned, “I don’t think it would be Hange as they seem close with Moblit-”

Silence quickly fell amongst them. A knowing look, that you weren’t familiar with, spread from eye to eye. Then a wide grin from all of them. And then in unison they shouted like giddy school children:

“Levi?!”

They looked at you expectantly. 

“Look she’s blushing! She’s married to Levi!” Sasha cried as she pointed at you, “Captain Grumpy is married!”

“Hey! I’m not blushing!” You fell into their childish games, “Why would I be married to ‘Captain grumpy’?”

They all looked thoroughly dissatisfied, “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“We were kind of hoping that by you being married to him we could… get some dirt on him,” Jean sighed.

“Why would you want to do that?”

“He’s actually really mean,” Sasha bit her lip.

“I’m sure it's just tough love,” You watched them shrug, “Come on kids, you haven’t finished guessing yet. How about I let you in on a little secret and give you a clue?”

They all grinned, their attention peaked, “Well, this coat… I stole it from Levi.”

“Stole?” They all said in a hushed tone.

“No way,” Jean whispered.

“How?” Connie leaned forward.

You tapped your pencil to the side of your nose, “One never reveals their secrets.”

Just then, three others began to walk to your small group. In the middle was a blonde boy and to his side was a girl with black hair and familiar grey eyes, and a boy with messy brown hair. The blonde boy spoke first, “We have to get back now.”

Jean grinned, “Armin can you guess who she is?” 

You waved at Armin. He waved back, “Oh I saw her walking around with Hange and Erwin like a week ago. She’s an artist working for Erwin, I think.”

“How did you know that?” Connie questioned. 

“I had to give something to Hange the other day and walked in on them and Levi talking about her. I guess you are y/n then?”

You nodded. The girl with dark hair and a red scarf wrapped around her neck smiled at you warmly, then waved, turning around and heading back to the training area. Armin followed, and so did everyone else.

You watched the little group of teens walk away, giving you disjointed goodbye and friendly smiles. In amongst the excitement, they had seemed to have forgotten the reward.

You wrapped Levi’s coat tighter around you and made your way back to the barracks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! since chapter updates might be a bit slower more recently, I decided to make a spotify playlist of songs that give off the same vibe as the story! 
> 
> The link: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5dIsc9kBP6UDRGDrBkanue?si=zgRrulq4STqR_mRRC80U2w


	8. Choking of Flowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi keeps his promises. And as he accepted the task as your supervisor ever Saturday, some what begrudgingly, what's the harm in trying to have some fun with him?

By the time Saturday had rolled around once again, Levi had only just returned. 

The evening before, he had stumbled into the painting room, covered in dirt and blood, looking quite worn out and sorry for himself. He had held up his hand to silence you and with a sigh he had said, “I’ll try not to be gone for so long.” Then with a hefty huff, he had shut the door behind him. 

  
  


Now, as Levi watched you sitting in the grass, picking at the flowers and checking them to your field guide, he seemed more relaxed- well as relaxed as he could. Still, he stood with his arms crossed, in his full uniform and gear, ready to stop any titan dead in its tracks. But apart from the ever looming threat of becoming titan food, it was another pleasant day. The white clouds rolled in front of the blue sky as birds dipped and glided in the gentle air. The wind was scarce but when it did blow over, it was cool against the growing humidity of the day. 

You leaned your head back, letting the breeze blow ever so softly at your face, “Oh Levi this is wonderful.”

“Sure it is,” He said as he stood as stiff as a board, constantly alert. 

You rolled your eyes. You were well aware that he was just there to supervise you but you were a bit bitter that he wasn’t even trying to be social. The look on his face was saying, ‘i’d literally want to be anywhere else’. Maybe the cadets were right, maybe it wasn’t tough love and he just was mean. But then again, the thought of Levi shouting at a bunch of teenagers made you giggle.

“What are you laughing about,” He glared at you from the corner of his eye. 

You spread your arms out and lay amongst the grass with eyes closed, the sun shining on your face, the grass tickling your palms, “You. Come on Levi let loose a little bit.”

“I’m here to babysit you, not to play games,” You felt the grass shift. Opening one eye, you saw him looking down at you, standing by your side.

“It’s hardly _babysitting_ ,” you softly chuckled. An idea sprung into your head. You leant up and gripped onto his hand, pulling him down to the ground. The look on his face was priceless; his eyes wide and startled, somehow caught almost completely off guard. The odm gear clattered together as you forced him to sit next to you.

“What are you doing-”

“Teaching you a new hobby!” You grinned, your head cocked to the side. Levi only looked more concerned at your optimism.

“I told you I’m only here to watch you not to-”

“Ah, uh, ah,” You interrupted him -yet again- holding your finger up to silence him. He scowled, silently protesting, “Good boy,” You teased.

“Don’t call me that. I’m still your superior even if you aren’t in the scouts,” He hissed, a red flush spreading across his cheeks. 

“You’re ridiculous,” You positioned yourself to kneel next to him, spreading out your trusty field guide on the floor in front of you both. There, on the worn pages were colourful sketches of flowers and herbs alike, all surrounded by rough notes and annotations. This particular page was filled with drawings of a blue, sharp petteled, flower with a tall, spindly stalk. You knew exactly what it was, Levi on the other hand was staring at it cluelessly, “Go on and guess.”

“ _This_ is _ridiculous_ ,” He sighed, mocking your words. 

“Please _Captain,_ ” You fluttered your eyelashes at him sarcastically. An over exaggerated pout on your face.

“Stop that.”

“I will. If you guess.”

“No.”

“Come on Levi.”

“No.”

“I’ll tell Erwin you're not being nice to me.”

Levi groaned, “What are we five?”

“Clearly,” You looked him up and down, pointing out that he was currently turned away from you with his arms crossed looking like the said five year old in the middle of a tantrum.

“Don’t get smart with me, y/n,” He turned back to you, “Fine. I’ll do it, but if a titan comes, I won’t be the one saving you.”  
“Fine by me,” You smirked as you sat back on your legs, bringing out the little pair of scissors from your belt along with the trowel, “Right, you see that flower on that page. You find it for me,” You handed him the tools, “Don’t worry it’s nearby.” He looked at you, questioning your request but surprisingly, he went off without debate. And even more surprisingly, he came back quickly with a few of the blue flowers in hand and sat by you again, holding them out to you, “Aw how romantic.”

He glared at you.

“I’m kidding. But thanks, you really did me a favour. It was really warm here, y’know the sun was in the perfect spot and I _really_ didn’t want to move.”

“You made me get you them… because you couldn't be bothered to… move?”

“Exactly,” You grinned at his agitated face. You held back in a laugh, realising that you just fooled the captain of the survey corps to do your jobs, “What?”

“That’s it I’m going back,” He stood to leave but you grabbed onto his wrist, pulling him back down. You hitched your long skirt to your knees and sat on his legs, stopping him from moving. Levi looked completely stunned.

“Now, give me those flowers, I hadn’t finished teaching you,” You took the flowers from his hand, then climbed off him, “What I was going to tell you is that these flowers are cornflowers. From what I’ve gathered is that the soil around the barracks is perfect for their growth, unlike the Ehrmich. The only way I’ve seen them grow is when their seeds have been specifically planted and I know it's not that exciting to you, but I’ve always wanted to see where people found them.”

“And you wanted me to get them because…”

“Because I wanted to press them and take the seeds. So I could grow them myself,” You sat in front of Levi, “Oh don’t look at me like that. Plus, having your brows furrowed like that will give you wrinkles. What are you? Twenty five? Twenty seven? You’ll be covered in them by the time you’re in your mid-thirties.” 

“Is this what you really do all day? Hyper-criticizing my appearance?”

You shrugged, “Not normally but seeing you get all wound up is funny. Go on how old are you,” You taunted, clambering closer to Levi, discarding the cornflowers by the book.

He turned his head away from you, looking to the side trying to ignore your curious and prying eyes. His jawline was as sharp as ever, his neck delicate. You got closer to his face and placed a hand on his head, running your finger through his hair. He looked up at you from under his eyebrows, “You’re giving me that look again Levi, go on just tell me.”

He sighed heavily, “Thirty-ish.”

“‘Ish?’ Ooh how mysterious,” You playfully tousled his hair. He grabbed onto your arm and pushed it behind your back, straining your shoulder. It didn’t hurt, it was just a dull pain along your joint, “Hey, hey! No fair,” You giggled playfully.

A slight smile played at the corner of Levi’s mouth as he let go of your arm, “Are you going to stop mocking me?”

“Maybe-” He quickly pushed your arm further behind your back. You yelped.

“Are you?”

Trying your best to not break out into a fit of laughter, you forced a serious face and stared Levi dead in the eyes. Instead of being met by his usual harsh glare, there was something softer behind those grey eyes. You’re chest warmed, “Fine. If you stop restraining me.”

“Fine,” He willingly agreed.

“Are you two getting along now?” You both turned around to see Erwin walking towards you. You quickly scarpered away from Levi. You knew how it looked, you sitting practically on top of Levi and considering that you and him spent the majority of the days together, you were well aware of how quickly rumours spread. And you didn’t want the rest of your time at the barracks perpetuated by those rumours. 

“Levi I have a job for you,” He began. Levi looked up at Erwin, not shifting his position, an eyebrow raised in question, “I need you to go get supplies for this week.”

“I thought it was Petra’s go this week.”

“She’s visiting family.”

“And who approved that?” Levi glared.

“I did,” Erwin challenged.

Levi tutted, “And you want me to do it? Fine.”

“Can I come?” You spoke up. They both looked at you, “I am running out of supplies.”

Erwin looked down at Levi, “Fine. Just don’t cause trouble while we’re there, okay?”

“I’m not that much of a burden.”

“If you say so.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you could summarise this chapter it would be 'flirting by making fun of each other'


	9. Take good care of you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Following up on Erwin's request, you and Levi go to the nearest town to get supply for the scouts.

You’d never seen Levi in anything apart from his uniform so seeing him in a neatly ironed shirt and blazer was quite a shock. You hated to admit it, but he actually looked decent.

“What are you looking at?”

“Nothing captain,” You smirked as you walked through the busy streets of the nearby town, Levi by your side. Erwin had timed Levi’s little errand trip perfectly as it was market day. All the shops and businesses had stalls lining the streets with a wide variety of food and other goods. There was no doubt that you would find what you needed here. Though the town was small, it was perfectly well prepared and stocked. The streets were filled with people going about their day; being sociable and doing their little tasks. Kids ran around, animals wondered. It was absolutely chaotic. But it was a good chaotic, a friendly chaotic.

“I can trust you to go around by yourself without getting yourself killed, right?” 

You hummed, reaching into your dress pocket and pulled out a small but sharp knife and covertly displayed it by your side. Levi nodded, “Perfect. At least you have protection.”

You slipped it back into your pocket, “You can never be too careful.” Both of you came to a stop at the town centre, marked by a large stone pillar. You faced Levi, “We’ll round back here in thirty minutes. Captain you head off in an easterly direction and I’ll go in a west formation. Roger that.” 

“What the fuck are you doing.”

“I don’t know. I thought that if I did some military speaking you’d be more productive or something.”

Levi sighed heavily, “Please, next time, just tell me instructions normally.”

You gave him a little salute as you walked away from him. You shouted as you furthered away from him, “Thirty minutes got it?”

“Got it!” He saluted back.

You smiled. As much as he protested, you knew he would always play into your little games. 

In one hand you held your basket and in the other, you held a simple list containing three things: red paint, parchment paper and a small dessert that you craved ever so much. The thought of the soft chocolate covered crème that lay on top of a rich biscuit, made your mouth water. It was the only priority on that list. Red paint can wait until you find that dessert. 

Shopkeepers shouted their deals and business out onto the street, each one trying to catch the attention of potential buyers. Some flirted their goods and some peer pressured. You liked to avoid both. If you wanted to buy something, you would buy it of your own accord, not some pushy man’s. 

You wondered though the market taking in the smells and sights. It was almost ultimately new to you as you were unaware of the surroundings. You had never stepped foot out of Ehrmich, let alone another town so you had practically no idea of where you were or what you were actually doing. Yet, you strolled along with your head held high, not letting anyone sense your uneasiness of being in a new environment. Your fingers twisted their way along the handle on your knife as you ushered yourself, _just in case._ The wooden handle was cold against your touch, the blade sharp and cruel. Dangerous but was _deadly_ in your grasp. It was a reassuring change from you weak scissors and blunt sheers, it was empowering.

Ahead of you, you spotted your prize. The bakery.

Sweet release. You stood in the doorway taking in the smell of fresh bread and the sickly sweetness of the confectionaries and smiled wildly. The lady standing behind the counter greeted you as you walked in the shop. She looked quite bemused at your excitement but you didn’t care, you had waited too long for this.

“Is there anything I can help you with dear?”

You nodded, then pointed at the chocolatey dessert you so craved, “Four of those please.” 

The shop owner neatly bagged them up. You paid. Placed them in your basket and left with a spring in your step. You couldn’t have been walking for that long so you carried on looking around, getting further and further to the edge of town.

The crowds had begun to disperse and so had the shops. By now it was just houses and alleyways. The town was extremely quaint and dainty. All the house had climbing vines growing on them that were currently in flower. A mix of yellows, greens and purples that decorate each and every building. Most had flower boxes by the windows in full bloom, only adding more colour to the surrounding town. You could see why people would want to live here, safely nestled under the shade of the wall, protected by it’s own little guard of trees. It was gorgeous. 

“Y/n. Why are you this far out?” Levi was suddenly by your side.

“Did you follow me here?”

“No of course not, I had some business here,” He looped his arm through yours and guided you back the way you came.

It caught you off guard, “Levi is everything alright?”

“Yes,” He said staring straight ahead. 

You were concerned. The tight grip on your arm, his guiding pace. Something wasn’t right. There was something he wasn’t telling you, “Levi…”

“Just keep walking,” His gaze was unmoving. He was set on the market. He wasn’t letting you on any information, he just kept you close by his side. Levi’s strong grip on you didn’t relax until you were both in the depths of the market again, surrounded by the bustle of people and noise once again. He just kept walking. You knew where he was heading, the town centre, quite possibly the safest place possible as it was right in front of everyone’s view. Levi took a seat on the stone stairs by the pillar.

You sat next to him, “What was that all about?” You uneasily laughed. 

“You were being followed,” He said, his voice ruthless and cold. There was no softening the truth with Levi, “It isn’t safe past the crowd.”

“But-”

“I know the town looks all pretty and shit but looks are deceptive. And somehow you managed to find yourself in the worst part of town.”

“I mean if that's the worst part of town…”

“Y/n, this isn’t a joking situation,” He held his head in his hands, “Fuck knows what could have happened to you.”

“Levi,” You placed a hand on his leg. He looked up at you, “You want some dessert?”

He stared at you looking confused and defeated, “So I just told you you could’ve died and your first reaction is to offer me _food_?”

“It takes your mind off things Levi,” You reached into your basket and handed him the chocolate dome, “Why dwell on things that could have happened? I’m here. I’m safe. All thanks to you Levi… Not that I couldn’t have protected myself.”

Levi rolled his eyes as he took a bite out of the crème, “You’re something else,” He stood up and held out his hand. You took it and he helped you up, “Come on, we haven’t finished shopping.”

\-------

By the time you and Levi arrived at the barrack’s mess hall, it was dark.

Inside, the young scouts were laughing and joking by the candle light. Conversation filled the room as you two walked in the hall, side by side, enjoying your own conversation. Levi carried practically a whole grocery shop in his arms whilst you held practically nothing in comparison. 

He gently dropped the food on the table. You stood shoulder to shoulder observing the haul, “You think Erwin will be happy with this?”

“He better be,” Levi said as he walked off, no doubt to retire back to his quarters. That left you in the room with the scouts you had met the other week.

Sasha appeared by your side, “Are you sure you’re not married?”

“Yes, I’m sure.”

“You seem pretty close,” Connie jeered from the other side of the hall. You don’t know why you endured their childish games, but you stayed anyway. It entertained you.

“Yeah… Pretty _close_ ,” Sasha taunted. The girl with dark hair whispered in Sasha’s ear, “Hey! no fair Mikasa!”

Mikasa wryly smiled, “I won the bet. You do my cleaning duties.”

“What bet?” You raised your eyebrow.

Mikasa struggled to talk with Sasha scrambling over her, trying her best to silence her, “That Sasha would jump conclusions first-”

“Hey!-”

“What conclusions?… that me and Levi are-”

“Yeah,” Mikasa said, still restraining Sasha.

“Well,” You began. You sounded like a politician addressing some scandalous accusation, “I promise you all nothing like that is going on.”

A collective groan left the teen’s mouths. They were so deprived of school gossip, they were clawing for anything. It made you laugh, “Goodnight all! Have fun training tomorrow and make sure the captain doesn't hear of this or he’ll work you to the bone.”

You chuckled as you heard another collective groan as you left the hall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> after all this time of y/n fussing over Levi we finally get to see protective levi!!  
> I had to rewrite this chapter a bunch of time because i just couldn't get it right but anyway... The scouts make another appearance!


	10. There's no need to be Brave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi and you had slowly began getting closer. Eventually, you decide to push the boundaries that bit further to see what Levi really is like, the truth behind humanities strongest solider.

Saturday soon became a thing you looked forward to all week.

Conversation with Levi had become easy, and for both of you, Saturday was a well earned break where you could let go for at least a couple of hours. It was like a shelter, a place where both of you could just be at ease. 

Most of the time, you and Levi sat in silence as he watched you carefully go about the flowers but occasionally, you would ask him a few questions. Sometimes about the survey corps, sometimes about himself. Levi would always be quick to answer but you could tell he held things back from you most of the time. From your time spent with him, you had come to learn he was a closed-off person, he liked to keep him to himself. You didn’t mind, not at all. You didn’t expect anything more from him. You had quickly learnt his boundaries and what he was comfortable with talking about, admittedly through trial and error, and you respected that. Always.

Levi was definitely the silent type. The one who listened. You could talk for hours and hours on end and you were _certain_ he would listen for as long as you rambled on. You were sure that he had adopted that technique especially for Hange. 

Slowly, you realised that Levi was in fact just like anyone else. However there was one question that you hadn’t yet asked him. One that was always at the back of your mind whatever you were doing, whether it be painting, or eating or laying in bed, it always seemed to be there.

“Levi are you scared of anything?”

He furrowed his brows as he sat up on his elbows, looking down at you laying on the floor with your arms resting across your stomach, “What?”

You lay there unmoving. Staring deeply at the clear sky, “Are you scared of anything? Everyone is scared of something.” 

He lay back down with a deep sigh. Levi had long since abandoned the heavy metal of the odm gear, laying at a stump of a tree but still he kept those leather harnesses wrapped around his limbs. He traced his finger over the buckle on his chest, “I knew you would ask a question like that eventually. I could see it in your eyes.”

“No way,” You let out a breathy laugh, “How?”

“You looked all glazed over, and your shoulders were slumped more than usual. There was clearly something on your mind.”

“Then why didn’t you say anything earlier?”

“I gave you time. I knew you would ask it eventually.”

Your arms slumped to your sides, your hand brushing against Levi’s. You half expected him to draw his hand away but he didn’t. He just kept his gaze trained on the bright sky, his face unreadable, “Go on then. What are you scared of?”

“What are you scared of?” He softly turned the question to you.

“I’m not sure anymore,” You sighed, “I mean, as a child I was absolutely mortified by the sight of ladybugs but, I guess, as I grew older, they became more _rational_ ,” You snorted. Then you frowned. The truth slowly slipped through your lips, “I was terrified to come here and even more scared of what I would find here. I remember sitting in the carriage shaking in fear at the thought of accidently encountering a titan, but as I’ve already met one of my only fears I really don’t see the point of being scared of it anymore. I mean, somehow I’ve had more near death experiences knowing you than I have had in the rest of my life.”

“Maybe I’m a bad luck charm,” He said, his tone unshifting.

“Go on then. I’ve said mine. What’s yours?” 

Not yet had he made eye contact with you since the conversation began. He was actively avoiding it. You could tell this wasn’t coming easy from him. If anything, he was struggling to make the words. It shocked you how suddenly vulnerable he seemed, “Family is very important to me. I don’t like losing them.” 

His sentence trailed off. You could tell you’d hit a nerve, you had pushed that bit too far; something in you told you to keep going, just that bit more, “...Have you lost them?”

His silence was telling. “I’m sorry.”

“You’ve got nothing to be sorry about, how were you to have known?”

You finger brushed against his hand as gently as you could and in a hushed tone, you said, “Still, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked. It was out of line.”

You and Levi lay in the grass in silence, feeling the light breeze wash against you. The branches swayed with the wind as it carried the distant noises from the training ground. 

“I’ve always wanted a family, but I could never put them through that,” Levi said quietly, “It would always be too much of a risk. I could never promise my partner my safe return. I couldn’t even promise their safety. A good life isn’t a life when you fear the demise of the one closest around you.”

It was finally your turn to be the one who listened. 

“The life I led… Was never going to be easy. I don’t want to lose the ones I love, but yet it happens anyway, whether I want them or not,” Eventually, he quieted, “This is ridiculous. How the hell did you get me talking like this, y/n.”

He turned and looked at you, “People say I have a way of making them talk,” You said with a dry laugh.

“Clearly,” A sorry little smile traced his lips, “If I hear any of this from anyone, you’re dead, got it?”

You weakly smiled, looking back up into the sky, just catching some swooping birds in your view, “You should smile more. It looks good on you.”

“Oh really?”

You sat up a little bit and shuffled closer to Levi, your faces inches away, “Yeah, you’ve got the eyebrows for it. But I don’t know, maybe that constant gloomy look on your face is stuck like that forever.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure.”

“Go on, prove it,” You watched him as he forced a large, toothy grin, “Could that be anymore unnatural? Your eyes look dead! Try smiling with your eyes first!”

“How the fuck do I do that?” Levi badly attempted to follow your instructions but failed. For a Captain, he was pretty bad at following orders. 

“Look,” You demonstrated. He looked at you cluelessly, “How are you this incapable?”

You sat up and looked over him. You placed your hands on Levi’s face, “You have very good bone structure. You have sweet cheeks as well, quite adorable.” 

“If you call me that again I’ll leave you out here for the titans. You think it's not berating enough to be called shorty by Hange constantly-” You held a finger to his lips, shushing him. Levi looked up at you, your face dangerously close to his. You could feel his skin heat under your touch. His eyes were soft and gentle. One hand rested on your back and his other reached for the side of your face. You leaned forward, your lips brushing against the tip of his nose. You waited for him to pull away, to snap at you, but instead he _smiled._

You closed the gap between you, resting your body on top of his as he cradled your face. Both of your hands traced his jaw line as your lips connected. The kiss was sweet-tempered and careful. His scent filled your nose as you softly bit down on his bottom lip. He smelled of fresh soap and lavender. You had no idea why you wanted him so badly but the kiss deepened. His hand tightened at the base of your neck as a whimper left your throat. It wasn’t needy, it wasn't desperate, the kiss was longing. Like it was filling something that both you and Levi craved. 

You pulled away, looking at Levi, his eyelids heavy, “I’m sorry. I just-”

“No, it's-” Then, it suddenly looked like it all fell on Levi at once, the realisation of what he did, “Its fine,” He sat up, and collected the gear. Levi stood up, offering you out his hand. You didn’t take it, you just watched him slowly leave. 

He stopped, not even turning around, he said, “Make sure you get back soon, got it?”

Levi walked away from the forest, towards the barracks. The feeling of dread rose, you couldn’t help but feel as if you had made a mistake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops, well I tried to write a bit of angst into this, you know finally getting to see the softer side of Levi. 
> 
> And another big thank you to all of you reading and supporting this!


	11. Love me in Spite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the kiss between you and Levi, you decide you can't let this go and tear what you have with Levi.

It was torture. He couldn’t look you in the eyes. _You_ couldn’t look him in the eyes. All you could do was sit in silence as you painted away.

Your mind kept going to that kiss. Remembering how soft and caring his lips felt against yours. The way Levi held you close to him ever so gently. Likewise, you couldn’t stop thinking of the look that was on his face as he pulled away. It made your heart drop. You couldn’t tell who was hurt more by that kiss.

You knew you were a fool. But that only made it sting more.

  
  


The day ended like any other would, you realising Levi from his capture and letting him get on with his life. It never hurt like this before, watching him walk away from you. There were no goodbyes. Nothing. The only thing you were left with when he left you alone was your body doused in guilt. 

You sat longer in that room longer than usual, staring at his portrait. It was close to being completed meaning that your time at the barracks would be over soon. That only rubbed salt in the wound. You just knew you couldn’t leave this place like this, you couldn’t leave knowing that _you_ were the sole creator of the rift between you and Levi. You should've known you were moving too fast, especially for him. You had to do something. You had to _fix this._ You had to face this head on. You could no longer sit around waiting for Levi to do something. You were the one to set this right.

It was dark by now. The candles lit up the hallways casting ghostly shadows on the walls. Every step echoed around you. Your heart raced.

“Y/n, whatever are you doing at this time?” Erwin asked, snapping you out of your clouded trail of thoughts.

You stopped and looked him dead in the eyes, “Solving a problem I caused. Where’s Levi?”

“In his office I imagen,” He carried on walking.

“Thank you commander,” You whispered through gritted teeth. As your pace quickened, so did your breathing. For the first time since you had met Levi, you were genuinely scared of him. You had no idea what he was thinking or how he would even react when you would confront him. 

His office loomed in front of you and with a deep breath, you knocked on the door. There was no answer. There were two reasons for this in your head: either he knew it was you and was purposefully ignoring you _or_ he was busy somewhere else within the barracks. Just in case it was the former, you pushed open the door. 

“Levi?” The rule rang in your head from the first time you entered the office, “Sorry… Captain Levi?”

There, yet again, was no response. You were just about to turn away when you heard muttering from the room connected to his office. You crept forward, listening through the door. Only a few words you were able to decipher. The majority of them were varied swears. You tried yet again to call his name. The voice to respond wasn’t his but…

“Hange?”

“I said you could come in,” Their voice muffled by the door. They were talking to someone, “No, I said she could come in… No, I….. No if I said they can come in, they can come in.”

You slowly pushed the door open to a scene you would least expect. Levi was holding Hange underwater in his bath, his cravat covering his mouth as he scrubbed at Hange’s hair. Levi let go, Hange popped up above the water again, flinging their bare arms over the edge of the tub, dripping water all over the floor, “So what did you need?”

Shaking away your momentary shock of seeing Hange completely stripped of clothes and looking like a wet dog, you said, “I was here to talk to Levi.”

It was like he didn’t even acknowledge your existence, he just continued washing Hange’s hair, “I’m sure he’ll be happy to talk to you, won’t you Levi?”

He pushed Hange underwater and brought them back up. He said nothing. His face was inscrutable, “Levi. I’m sorry.”

Levi didn’t even turn to you, “For what. You either meant it or not.”

“Meant what?” Hange perked up, Levi quickly shoving them back underwater. 

You and Levi exchanged a brief glance, “Hange, you better not get out of this water until you smell like a florist. Got it?” They nodded.

Levi led you out of the bathroom and shut the door behind him. His hand still on the door knob when he narrowed his eyes and glared at you standing in the middle of his office. If looks could kill, you would have been dead ten times over, “Go on then. Why are you sorry?”

“I should’ve thought about this. I was being stupid.”

“Was it a mistake?”

“Yes-”

“So you think _toying_ with me is a fun game?” You had never seen this side of him before. Levi was pacing, his eyes boring into you.

“No it's not that, if you just-”

“What is it then _y/n_? Go on and tell me. I want to know your reasoning.”

You took a deep shaky breath, “I didn’t intend for you to think that. I don’t want you to think it didn’t mean anything. It did, I’m just not sure what it meant.”

“This is the first time I’ve seen you at a loss for words,” He stepped closer to you. Suddenly, you understood why people feared him, the pure look of disgust in his eyes that would make anyone weak in the knees. Levi snarled his words, every drop of venom purposely dripped onto every sentence that left his mouth, “Now let me tell you y/n, that if that had happened while you were under my control, my subordinate, things would have been very different. You wouldn’t be standing here in front of me like this, you wouldn’t even be on the grounds of this barracks-”

“Levi! Please!” Your voice wavered, “Please, just listen. I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry that I kissed you. I’m sorry that you think I led you on. I’m sorry I acted out on my feelings before I knew what they were. I’m sorry-”

“This is absurd. We're not teenagers. Stop acting like one.”

You looked down at the floor, collecting yourself. You looked back up at him, with an icy scowl, “Stop making this harder, Levi. I know exactly what you’re doing. It’s like you think I don’t listen to you. Looking back at it, it was horrendous timing. Both you and I were vulnerable and we both acted without thinking. But Levi… I do genuinely care about you,” You began to get choked up, “I really do. I really, really do and guess what, those 104th kids knew it before I did. They could see the way I looked at you, they could see the way I smiled differently. For heaven's sake they thought we were _married._ So Levi, I do care. It was a mistake _then,_ but I would do it again.”

Levi slumped down in his chair, the fire in him slowly fading. He sat for a while, not doing anything. He sighed heavily, “I can’t have you doing this, y/n.”

“Doing what? 

“Getting attached. You know what you said to me that day I left to go on that mission?”

“If you die, I won’t be able to remember your face,” You muttered under your breath.

“You were joking then. I knew you were, _that’s just who you are._ But it's the truth. You get attached then one day I go out and I won't be there anymore. I’ll be gone forever. Then you’ll forget what I am, who I am, and trust me, that hurts more than losing that person. It's losing the memories of them. Forgetting how they sounded, how they laughed, how they looked.”

“Levi,” You said gently, “I’m not scared of getting attached… you are. You’re scared that you’ll leave me like everyone else did to you. You’re scared that _I’ll_ leave you.”

He looked up at you wistfully.

“I won’t Levi. I’ll try not to. I’ll try my very hardest to keep you safe and to keep myself here. I promise.”

“Don’t promise me anything,” Levi muttered softly, “Just try okay?”

“Okay,” You walked over to him in his chair and lifted his face to look at you. You had to admit, your eyes were watering just a little bit. You gently cupped his face with your hands and lightly placed a kiss on his forehead, “I’ll try my hardest.”

Levi closed his eyes and let you take his hand in yours. You squeezed tightly, _I’m not going anywhere._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope this was good enough to pull some short of heart strings.
> 
> (Did you know that Levi canonically gives Hange baths, I just had to include that somewhere!)
> 
> The original plan was for y/n to burst into Erwin's office in the middle of a weird party with Erwin, Miche, Moblit and Hange (Moblit sitting on Hange's lap while he poured wine into their mouth and Miche and Erwin playing aggressive chess) and for y/n to confess to Levi right there in front of them but eh I went for the sad option instead of the more comedic. 
> 
> Anyway, I know some authors get really personal in their notes but I'm not sure what to say so if you want to know anything just ask! :D


	12. While the others talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once again, you find yourself in the presence of Hange and Erwin.

You thought it strange for Levi to be late to your daily meetings. That's how you found yourself outside Erwin’s office once again. 

It had become a familiarity as by becoming closer to Levi, you in turn grew your friendship with both Hange and Erwin. They always greeted you with smiles that at first you chalked up to politeness and chivalry but soon you realised that they were sincere. You wondered if Levi talked about you to them. You made up their conversations in your head, filling gaps of unheard gossip and fantasizing how he would bring up your name in conversations. But knowing Levi, most of the time it would be complaints about you he wouldn’t say to your face.

Like many times before, you knocked at Erwin’s office door. It was unlocked. You slowly pushed it open announcing your arrival. There, slumped at the desk over a large, worn and tattered looking map, were Erwin and Hange. Hange looked up, “Oh hello, dear,” They said with little conviction before flopping back onto the desk.

“What happened?” You walked over to Hange, placing a sympathetic hand on their back, “You two look like you’ve been through hell and back.”

Erwin nodded, “Technically, this is classified information to any member of the public but I tell you now, planning missions isn’t all it's chalked up to be.” You couldn’t even begin to imagine what was at stake here, or how long they had spent sitting in this room but from what you could tell from the many empty cups and plates, it had been quite a while to say the least.

“What did you come here for?” Hange said, face still flat against the wooden desk, their glasses pushed up above their forehead.

“To find Levi. He was late today and I was wondering if you’ve seen him?”

Erwin weakly smiled and beckoned you with his finger. He lowered his voice into a whisper as if to not startle a wild animal, “If you come here…”

You made your way behind the desk, creeping ever so carefully. Then you saw it. Levi with his head resting against Erwin’s thigh whilst he sat, slouched on the floor with a cup of half drunk tea on his lap. Levi was out cold and by the way his face was utterly relaxed, his eyes delicately shut and his heavy breathing, there was practically no chance in waking him. You stifled a laugh looking at him so peaceful, knowing that this was only possible because he wasn’t even _conscious._

“I thought he didn’t sleep?” You whispered ever so quietly. 

“He doesn't,” Hange smirked, pushing their glasses back onto their nose, “That's why we didn’t wake him up. In total, Shorty has probably had three hours of sleep in the last month.” 

“If he sleeps, we let him,” Erwin moved slowly, being extra careful not to wake him up, leaning over the desk to observe the map again, adding small details and annotations to it, “Sometimes, after he spends nights planning a mission he’ll practically collapse. Often with his tea cup still in hand. Normally it's when he gets overwhelmed.”

“Poor thing,” you said sympathetically.

“Don’t let him hear you say that,” Hange warned, “Last time we mentioned it to him, he stopped talking to us for a day. Gave us the silent treatment until we promised to forget it happened.”

You crouched down in front of him, taking the teacup and saucer from his lap. The scent of the tea immediately hit you, the ambrosial and subtle smell filling your nose. You could recognize it anywhere. He was drinking your tea. The blueberry tea that you had made him and judging by the saccharine at the bottom of the cup, he had followed your advice of putting honey in it. Stubborn as he was, he did actually listen to you. “What happens if I wake him up?”

“All hell breaks loose,” Erwin warned. The steely look that played on his features showed that he was deadly serious. Waking Levi was a death wish, “I don’t think you’ll be doing much painting today y/n.”

“I figured,” You couldn’t help but stare at Levi. He probably wasn’t even aware that he was currently using Erwin’s thighs as a pillow. Looking at him now, you wouldn’t be able to tell this was ‘Humanity's strongest soldier’. You wondered how many titans had this sleeping lion killed? 

“Hange, I have to ask how much of the argument between me and Levi did you hear?”

Erwin cocked his head in both interest and confusion. Hange held up their hand to silence his questioning eyes, “I zoned out when Levi started doing his ‘I’m not shouting but I’m raising my voice’, voice at you. I’ve learnt its best to ignore him when he’s doing that to one of the cadets, best not to get involved or he’ll probably go on a rampage- or kick someone.”

“Wait what argument?-”

“It's long and complicated, but I’ll tell you if you really want,” By the prying, raised eyebrow, you figured that Erwin wanted you to continue. You took a deep breath, “Well, I’m not sure what Levi has told you but we’ve been getting… closer. I was moving too quickly and Levi thought I was doing it just because I wanted to be amused. We didn’t communicate well enough until we fought and now here we are…”

Erwin smiled, clasping his hands in front of him, scheming, “I knew you two would get along.”

You blushed. Hange grinned at your embarrassment, “He does like you, you know. I know it's not obvious ‘cos Levi, he's special like that, he doesn't really know what to do when it comes to things like this. Erwin, don’t you remember how long it took for him to warm up to us?”

“He tried to kill me the first time we met so I guess our relationship has come leaps and bounds,” Erwin said matter of fact. You wouldn’t even try to question Levi’s thought process, that man was far beyond your understanding. Erwin, after a moment of silence, spoke up, “Tea? Wine?”

“I’m not a big morning drinker,” You said, “But I might need to steal Levi away from you. See, we’re so close to finishing-”

“Fine by me,” Erwin nodded, “You’ll be the one waking him up though.”

You grimaced, “Is it possible he’s hiding one of those odm swords on him. I don’t really feel like being stabbed waking him up.”

Hange shrugged, “You never know with Levi. He probably has a pocket knife on him at all times.”

“That's not something I want to hear now,” You were crouched down beside Levi, your hand resting on his shoulder. You gently shook him, one eye fluttered open, “Levi… Wake up we’ve got painting to do… Please don’t shank me.”

A small smirk played on his lips as he came to from his slumber, “If you’re lucky, maybe I’ll spare you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soft Levi, I repeat, soft sleeping Levi.
> 
> Also, for context, If this was to take place canonically, it would be a month or so before Eren found out he was a titan, so technically all the kids are still training. I thought it was important to let you all know where it was in the aot time line as it becomes more relevant in the later/last few chapters.
> 
> Hey, we finally have some more bonding time with Hange and Erwin!


	13. Knows how we knew

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi seems distracted over your constant questioning, something playing on his mind.

Levi looked as if he was about to drift off to sleep at any moment. You rudely awakening him and then immediately rushing him upstairs had left him noticeably drowsy. What gave it away was the way his head was looser on his neck, his usual impeccable posture now slumped ever so slightly; his eye lids lay half closed threatening to shut and accept sleep. 

The best decision, you decided, was to keep him talking while you painted. It would be a challenge to say the least.

“Levi,” He startled, then settled, you’re voice soothing him just a tad, “Was this really a surprise?”

“I had no prior knowledge of this,” Levi held up a hand to his mouth to cover a yawn.

“Do you have any idea what it's for then?”

“Either Erwin is celebrating the fact that he’s managed to keep me alive or he’s decided that he’s rewarding me for staying ten years in this hell hole. It's the least he could do, he’s the one that recruited me properly.”

“But I thought you tried to kill him first?” You laughed.

“Of course he told you. That’s true, but look at us two now, best of friends,” He said with a hint of sarcasm.

You rolled your eyes. It had become a habit of looking between Levi and the canvas, constantly checking his expression. So that only made it easier to see the dullness in his eyes, the dullness that was never usually there. He looked distant, his mind somewhere else.

“You said it was ten years of service but don’t most recruits start when they're in their teens?”

“I was too busy running riot in the Underground,” He said drearily.

“You’re full of surprises Levi,” You shook your head with a sly smile, trying your best to lighten Levi’s mood, “Next you’re going to tell me you were in a gang-”

“I was.”

“Oh.”

“That’s the way you get through life in the Underground. Learn to fight or get people on your side. Luckily for me I got both,” The conversation of his past only seemed to be worsening his tired mood. 

You thought of anything, anything at all to change the subject, “So do you have any siblings?”

_ Shit.  _ You knew your mistake as soon as it left your mouth.

Levi let out a cutting laugh. You doubted it could even be counted as a laugh, there was something so sinister, so sorrowful behind it, it made your breath catch in your chest. However, Levi spoke calmly and collected, “Never. But… there was Isabel and Farlan.”

“Isabel and Farlan?”

“Others from the underground,” His eyes had glazed off as if he was recounting thousands of memories in his head, “They were possibly closest to what I could call family.”

“Do you miss them?” You said quietly, busying yourself with the paint. Even though you kept your eyes down, Levi’s subtle glare was always nearby, even if it was flat against a coloured piece of material.

“Who wouldn’t?” Levi huffed, “To think it's been ten years. God, Isabel would be so old now. Sometimes I wonder what she would’ve looked like.”

“What was she like?”

“Stupid. She followed her heart but somehow she was the most persistent person I knew. It was a constant task for me and Farlan trying to keep her in line. She was one rowdy little brat.”

“You wouldn’t want to miss it for the world though, would you?”

“Not at all,” A meagre smile traced his lips, however his eyes were still dark, “She would have loved you.”

You didn’t quite know what to say, “I… I bet I would’ve too.”

Levi sighed heavily. His breathing was shaky. Barely noticeable. But it was there. To see humanity's strongest soldier practically crumbling in front of you sent your world spinning. It seemed terribly selfish. You had never thought in your life what these soldiers  _ really  _ go through, day in, day out, risking their lives and seeing their comrades lives being snatched away from them knowing that  _ it could have been them.  _ They were surrounded by death. An inescapable reminder of their mortality with no real knowledge of when it would come and find them. It could be running at them in the form of a titan or it could be deadly and unsuspecting; that one day they would lie down and just not get back up. Looking at Levi was just a reminder of what that fear could do to a person. Levi had experienced it more than the average person. He’d lost friends, family and cadets that he had no doubt felt like he had taken responsibility for their demise. Their lives lost a heavy and pressing weight on his back to carry for the rest of his own life.

“Does it help talking about them?” You muttered out, not expecting an answer. You kept painting, the brush carefully dragging across the canvas.

“I think it does. It keeps them around, the memories fresh.”

“I can imagine.”

“They do fade eventually,” Levi’s grey eyes peered around the room, his dark hair falling in his face, “I thought I forgot Farlan’s smile the other day.”

Your heart dropped at his honesty, “If talking about them keeps the memories clear. Do it. Tell me about them.”

“You really don’t have to-”

“Levi. I’m serious. You don’t expect me to listen to you pour your heart out to me and not do anything to help,” You said sternly, “Please. I couldn’t even try to understand, I couldn’t even begin to put myself in your shoes, Levi.”

“You really do get me talking, don’t you?”

You smiled dully, “I guess… Go on, tell me about them.”

So he did. He talked and talked about life in the underground with Farlan and Isabel. Every word he spoke was accompanied by his doleful look on his face. He spoke with such passion about them, everything they did he talked about them as if they were his own brother and sister. Every word filled with pride in them and their lives. He even spoke of his comrades, the ones who fought to the very end. Levi never spoke down of them. Ever. He talked about how admirable their sacrifices were and how they were never in vain. He missed them. All of them. It was painfully obvious. 

He never shed a tear. Despite this, you found your own rolling down your face, not many but they were there. 

Levi looked up at you, furrowing his brow, “You’re not crying are you? I can’t deal with that.”

You sniffled, wiping your eyes, “Of course not… I just… How?”

“How?”

“How do you manage?”

“I just do,” He said stoically. 

You rolled your dewy eyes at his stubbornness, “This sounds strange but do you have a picture of Farlan and Isabel?”

“It always worries me when you ask things like this,” Still, he reached into his breast pocket of the long green coat and brought a folded and worn piece of paper that was frayed at the edges and yellowing at the corners. Levi handed it to you. You opened it ever so carefully, neatly unfolding it. On the paper was a rough, messy sketch of Isabel and Farlan. He kept them close to his heart, figuratively and literally. “Hange drew it for Isabel as a fun game. They never got to give it to her.”

You brought out your leather-bound sketchbook and ripped out a page. You began working quickly, replicating their features from Hange’s haphazard drawing, “Come here. Tell me if I’m doing this right.”

Levi came to stand next to you, peering over your shoulder as you were hunched over the easel. He looked at you curiously. Soon he understood- you were trying to bring back Farlan’s grin and Isabel’s charm. He helped and guided you to get the new drawing as accurate as possible. Levi instructed things like, ‘her hair was messier than that’ and ‘he smiled with more teeth’. And soon enough, Levi could recognize their faces clearly once again. You handed the picture to him and watched him marvel over it, “You’re a talented bastard, aren’t you?”

You could see the way his face lit up seeing them again, at least getting to see what they were. The way he held the picture ever so delicately and gently folded it into his pocket with the original made your heart flutter. You took him by his wrist and squeezed it gently, “You should tell the others how much they mean to you. Tell them now before anything happens.”

“It’s harder than you think.”

“I know. I was just thinking that if you knew that they were aware of how much they meant it would give you peace of mind.”

Levi sighed and looked out the window, he gaze distant, “It's strange isn’t it? That you have one life to live and that's it. Once you’re gone, you’re gone. You can’t go back and do the things you never got to do. You can never go back and relive the moments that you loved. Somehow, you’ve made me realise that. Always asking those questions.”

“I’m a curious person,” You laughed dully.

“I’m well aware,” Levi smirked, “Go on, what's one thing you would love to do before you die?”

You thought for a while, “I think… I think I’ve always wanted to have a go at the odm gear.”

“That's it?” Levi raised his eyebrows. You nodded.

“Fine. Meet me at the training grounds in ten minutes,” He grinned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you saw me change all the chapter titles to song lyrics from the playlist that I made... no you didn't. 
> 
> Anyway... I really tried to write hurt in there so I could actually get good use out of the hurt/comfort tag. I'm really excited to write the next chapter and I'll hope you'll enjoy it as much as I will writing it ;D


	14. Fall back into place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi teaches you how to use odm gear to prove to each other there's no reason to be fearful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mean I don't know if I should put a warning but it's kind of suggestive at the beginning?

There was something so intimate about Levi being between your thighs. The look of complete concentration strewn across his face as he worked away at the leather straps tied around your legs and body, his fingers tracing delicately across the buckles. Each and every touch lingered. It was the way he had gently sat you down in one of the training ground’s many sheds and pulled out the odm gear. Levi stated flatly that he was to be the one to put you in it for safety. You wondered how true that actually was.

Once he was finished with your thighs he moved to the belt. His eyes stayed heavily trained on the work ahead of him. He looped his arms around your waist, tightening the belt in the front. You let out a little gasp as he tugged on it to test its security. 

“Stop being so dramatic,” He hummed as he moved up, threading your arms through the shoulder straps. 

You adjusted slightly, letting the heavy back piece sit comfortably against your back, “Sorry. You caught me off guard.”

Levi rolled his eyes. Still, he was focused on the task of dressing you. He looped the waist straps through your belt, clicking them into place. Again, he gave them a little jerk. All seemed secure. Last but not least was the strap that lay against your chest. He pulled the straps together and buckled them. You couldn’t ignore the heat on your cheeks and it didn’t go unnoticed by Levi either, “You know I’m not blind? I can see you looking at me like that… Right, none of them cutting off your circulation?”

You took a few steps, circling around Levi as he stood observing you, him in his gear too and arms crossed while you trundled around the high-ceilinged shed getting used to the feeling of the leather against your clothes, pressing into your skin, “They’re good.”

By the time you looked back at Levi, he was standing there in front of you once again with the heavy gas canisters and triggers. It was simple really, he clipped them onto you and let you get used to the weight. You were in complete gear, minus the swords which made you a bit glum but as Levi had explained on the way to the grounds that you were, and you quote:  _ enough of a safety hazard without any sharp objects in your hands _ . 

Levi came behind you, his front pressed into your back and his hands clutching yours as he gave you the empty operating device. He looped your two fingers through the triggers, each movement guided carefully by Levi. His voice was low and commanding as he spoke to you, “I trust that you’ll listen to my instructions?” You nodded, “Good. This one here, the lever, pull that and the gas will push you forward. The other two are for retracting and releasing the cords. The top releases, the bottom retracts. Got it?”

“Yes,” You said confidently, turning them in your hands looking at the marvel of engineering that was, currently, in  _ your  _ grasp. 

Levi stood back from you, “Perfect. Do  _ exactly  _ as I say alright? I can’t have you breaking all your bones on your first go, trust me, it's not a pleasant sight.”

“Yes captain,” You smirked.

He tutted, “You certainly pick and choose when you use my correct titles don’t you? Now, I need you to be completely serious about this. Listen to everything I say. Don’t fuck it up,” Levi walked back until he was against the wall, “Aiming is simple, pull the trigger and aim it at that beam.” 

You looked up. There was a heavy wooden beam that spanned the rooftop of the shed. Clutching the grip, your finger pressed against the cold metal trigger sending the cable whirring out from beside you. The sudden movement threw you off your balance as you were launched forward, the hooks digging deep into the beam, warping and chipping the wood. You squeezed the other trigger in your grasp. The next time the hooks shot out you were more prepared. You grounded your feet as your hips were thrust forward. There you dangled, a couple of inches off the floor.

Levi approached you again and firmly grasped your waist, steadying you. 

“Good. At least you know to not let your limbs flail around. You’re doing better than the new cadets.”

“Levi they’re kids. That doesn't really count.”

“You say that but I’ve seen plenty of full grown adults fall flat on their asses on their first tries,” He gave your sides a reassuring squeeze as he held you in place, “I’m going to let go. You balance as well as you can.”

The comfortable safety of Levi’s sturdy hands slipped away from you. You dangled above the ground. Your whole body shook as you tried to stay upright, your core tight and your back stiff. 

“You’re not getting anywhere being that straight up,” Levi cooed from the side lines, “Relax a bit!”

You did as he said. Letting your muscles loosen, you realised that the balancing side of using the odm gear came a lot easier. In theory, it was simple- stay upright and use your weight to move and direct the gear, but the story changes when you’re travelling so fast that you can’t pick out person from shrubbery in a horribly sickening motion blur of the surrounding world. Levi would have to teach you that bit sooner or later.

“A bit rusty but otherwise, you’re doing decently,” Levi said walking towards you again. He leaned over you and retracted the wires. He steadied you as you fell, “You think you’re ready to go out?”

“Only you can be the judge of that, I mean look at you? I bet you learnt to use odm gear before you learnt to walk-”

“Come on, stop fucking around,” Levi looked amused. He placed one hand on your back and with the spare, he picked up a full gas canister. 

Levi guided you out of the shed and led you to a spot in the training grounds. The trees grew tall and thick. Plenty of branches to latch onto. It was quite overwhelming, looking at the height and the ominous dark that crowded around the deep ends of the forest. Your heart was beating heavily in your chest and there was no doubt that Levi could feel it. 

“You don’t have to do it,” Levi came to stand beside you, staring off into the trees; following your gaze.

“But I do. We said we would do one thing before we die. This was mine Levi.”

“You really don’t-”

“I want to  _ try.  _ Remember, this was the thing I wanted to do. No matter how scared I might be Levi, one thing for sure is that I really have no need to be scared anymore. I’ve looked death in the eyes… I don’t think I can be  _ scared  _ anymore.”

“Being scared is a natural response idiot,” He pulled you closer to him by your belt, “Though, if it does mean anything to you, you’ll be fine. I’ll be up in the trees with you, by your side.”

You placed a hand on his shoulder, turning him towards you. You slowly raised your eyebrows, your face forming into a sly smile as you whispered into his ear, “If you can catch me first.”

You took off running, the excitement and adrenaline masking any worries that you had. You watched as Levi rolled his eyes while you sprinted away from him. With a trip and a stumble you fired the first cable. It dug deep into a branch ahead of you. You were launched forward, the wind blowing against your face sharply. Launching the other, you began soaring through the air, feeling completely weightless and as free as a bird. Well, apart from the constant reminder of the straps that pulled against your limbs whenever you took a sharp turn.

Levi was close behind you, flying through the branches with no effort. In comparison, you were giddy with excitement, so much so your head felt light and dizzy. It was taking a lot of your concentration to fire the wires at the right time, let alone getting the fuel powering you at the right time without sending you flying into a tree.

“How you doing rookie?” Levi taunted, now level with you. The breeze blew back his hair and his cravat away from his face.

“Excellent!” You shouted enthusiastically.

The chase between you and Levi continued, though you did think that Levi was going soft on you, considering that he wasn’t trying too hard to catch you. You were getting used to the thrill. The way the handles felt in your grasp. The way the gas canisters lay heavy against your waist. It was exhilarating. Suddenly Levi was in front of you. He looked back and smirked before launching the cable behind you, just brushing over your head. You pulled yourself down as Levi flew over you, flipping in the air.  _ Show off.  _ With ease, he came to stand on a branch. You came to a stop as well, hanging from a thick trunk.

“Tired yet?”

“Not in the slightest,  _ captain, _ ” You jeered. 

“Fine,” He jumped down, the hook already attaching itself to the opposite tree, “I’ll be loitering about. Don’t do anything dumb.”

“Does that mean I won?” You called out after him.

“No!”

That man sure was stubborn. Not that you minded it. 

You took off once again, travelling around the forest. No wonder that day, when you first met the 104th kids, they seemed to be having so much fun. You had never experienced anything like this. The speed, the heights. It was all a perfect mix for the most amazing adrenaline rush. The type that got you gasping for air, saying ‘Again! Again!’. 

Though Levi had seemed to have left you to your own devices, you thought it best to start to head back to the shed… Right after you tried this one thing. You know that Levi said nothing dumb, but this wasn’t dumb, it was an experiment, a test for yourself. Now, you knew you could never be able to recreate Levi’s moves without breaking your bones or at least another few years of training, but you could try his speed. It seemed easy enough, find a clear spot with enough grappling pace and build up the speed.

So you did. You found an almost perfectly straight line of trees and you set off. It was slow to start with the slow swing between each cable but gradually, you began to pick up speed. You were laughing, brimming with excitement as you raced through the trees. 

You retracted one wire and pressed down on the lever. It was deathly silent. There was no sudden push of gas, no familiar hiss. It was empty.  _ Shit.  _ With the momentum of the one cable and remaining speed, you went hurtling towards the ground with not enough time to send out the other wire. All you could do was watch as you fell ever closer to the ground. 

You could see it all happen, like time had slowed just for you to see your mistake. To see the one thing Levi had warned you against.  _ Making a dumb decision.  _ There was no time to prepare as you crashed into the hard ground. No time to register the agonizing pain shooting throughout your body. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha left it on a cliff hanger! Oh no!
> 
> Anyway, school has been kicking my ass right now so updates will be slower. 
> 
> Last chapter I wanted and was about to go on a rant about how Levi is one of the most caring character in aot and it was lost in the anime adaptation but eh, my friends have heard that one too many time.  
> As I'm writing this its poring down with rain and I'm currently listening to Saviour Complex by phoebe Bridgers, making me come to realise that that is Y/n's and Levi's song lol. 
> 
> P.s I was thinking of writing another fic after this, like a modern day setting where erwin is a history teacher and y/n is a milf-
> 
> idk what do you all think of that?


End file.
